This is in response to my mom's email about my poem "MoMmY"
You write back
Tell me I'm a hateful child
Tell me that I need to stay on track
Like if it was a mile
A mile that lasts forever
You say you can't let go
And say I'm negative to others
How am I not supposed to though?
I feel betrayed
You told me he'll never hurt us
Told me he'll never be a threat to us
But he has in so many ways
I remember that day
You told me he was trying to break the family apart
And now it's happening
Our family is going away
But you don't have the heart
To stay away from that man
That man brought fear
Into our land
The man couldn't see clear
You blame it on his drinking
But he still can control his actions
Or was it because he wasn't thinking
Thinking about anyone and their reactions
Is that it?
Is that the excuse mom?
Once again I ask
How am I not supposed to though
It such a task
To think real slow
And not to be hateful to others
This man took you away
And I didn't complain
You weren't there to heal the pain
And I still didn't complain
You say I don't forgive
Then why do I forgive my father
He hasn't even bothered
Bothered to be there for me and you
So how can that be true
This man tried to kill you
But that doesn't matter
At least not to you
You say it's the drinking
As if it were to make it better
Yes he claims he'll stop
But how many times have I heard this before
And he still drinks every drop
And some more
You said you'll stick by him
Even if that means death
Wow how I wish I could take his last breath
And bring it to an end
The night before we left him mother
Do you not remember
Seeing me in my room shaking all over
Because he wouldn't stop his temper
I will always remember
I almost cut myself that day
He made me feel like I was the problem to everything
I just wanted to go away
But you will never see mother that type of thing
That reaction out of me
For I am stronger
You say you can't make me happy
How could that be
Your love is ever lasting
And that is truely speacial to me
You say I'm going to be screwed in life
Nice to know you have my back
But one day
I'll be a great teacher and wife
That will eventually forget the attacks
But I will never forget the day you chose him over us
I hope you'll miss us
And see that I am not closed in
I just don't want to be hurt
You say you lay your life in Lord's hands
But it's you who has to take a stand
God is there to listen and give
Not there to live the life we were given
You made the choice
To choose death over us
I still love you
I wish you could see
It really is true
what you mean to me
