Today

by Beautiful Chaos   Jun 11, 2012


She hates herself today
More than yesterday
Hoping it's not less than tomorrow

She touches her wrist
Remembering the shame
But longing for the comfort

Loneliness creeping in
Though she's not alone
A familiar feeling

Pushing them away
Pulling herself close
Waiting for the inevitable hurt

The burn of never being enough
Of constant disappointment
Always succeeding at failure

She just wants something real
But how does she know what's real?
It's impossible to see

She holds faith
But it has failed her before
Or maybe she failed it

Words are beautiful
Intoxicating
Even when they're lies

And she has been drunk on the most beautiful words
Lost to the romance
Blinded by the lust

She has forgotten how to trust
In herself
In her mind

To believe in herself
Who she is
To love herself as she does others

Because sometimes she hates herself
And no one can see it but her
So she questions what others hide so well

We hide what's real, under our skin
Silent thought, soundless objections
Quiet judgement, rebellion

She knows what's good about her, others
But she knows what isn't
And today, isn't, is winning

She hates herself today
More than yesterday
Hoping it's not less than tomorrow...

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