Comments : Chosen to be mine

  • 11 years ago

    by Khalid M Darwish

    She's all that I wanted and more!
    A God fairing girl as pure as a pearl.
    who I admire and so adore.

    Expressive feeling! I like it

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    This was good Randy, I hope you have already met her.
    Some great rhyming going on,
    I am not so sure about the 'God fairing' part, should this be 'God fearing'
    Or is it not a term I am familiar with. (the dictionary definition of fairing means Fairing may refer to: In aerodynamics and hydrodynamics: Aircraft fairing, a structure in aircraft design used to reduce drag and improve appearance.
    Now my wife could probably do with that (only joking of course) But you describe yours as a fantasy wife.
    I like this stanza the best
    And you better bet, that I will not let
    myself... take for granted this truth.
    That the universe gifted, showed me she existed,
    pulled her... toward me, in my youth.

    The last stanza was strong apart from the "quarter past seven" part, seemed irrelevant other than to rhyme with heaven.
    All in all I enjoyed reading this, it is a lot different to your other poems I have read.
    Thanks for the read
    And remember It is only my opinion,

    • 11 years ago

      by East Poetry

      Lol... I just spelled it wrong... I fixed it... thank you.

      here is the right way.

      faring -To go or happen: How does it fare with you? To travel; go.

      God Faring - a person how travels with god, or follows God.

      thanks for the review Darren

      I made the revisions on the poem.
      also took our the part about quarter to seven.

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    Now that makes much more sense, I like the last stanza now, It actually strengthens and ties in the whole perfect relationship.
    Now I can vote.

    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by PETER EDWARDS

    Cleverly written poem Randy, as all your poems are! Really enjoyed reading this write, so I read it several times over!
    I just love your very clever words!!
    Your poems are always GREAT to read Randy!
    You have a real talent with words!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    I have upgraded my comment from 'this is good' to 'this is awesome Randy', It flows at a great pace and the message is really strong, The last stanza has gone from the weakest to the strongest in your re write. Thanks for the read.

  • 11 years ago

    by Omar

    Wow, this is an a amazing poem. I like the flow. Nice job randy.

  • 11 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Nicely Penned Randy!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    This is very sweet, i'm sure your wife adores it and you. i just love how nicely it flows!

  • 11 years ago

    by TJ Standen

    This is a wonderful poem Randy. It flows really well and the message is clear. I really enjoyed reading it