Very sad poem Rebecca about painful realities! I was really affected by the flow!
A poem that touches the heart!

This is just a beautiful piece all around. It has an immaculate flow and I was really moved by the meaning. Very deep and you told a story.
5/5 :)

Beautiful piece.I loved the flow too.

Beautiful... yet so sad. Great job keep it up!

Sometimes the one person that should love you most, turns out the one to love you least. How to go from there? The way I did it was to become my own best friend.

don't take your own life, hun...it is not meant to go like that. Move past the pain and make yourself a future. You can, if you really want to.

Well done,

5/5 Ingrid

You said all I had to was ask,
I try to open up about my painful past.
You say you understand,
but there's no truth in your words.
So I start out over again,
Try to tell the story,
Bringing back the pain.
my empty chest still burns.

ERROR - in the first line, I would add in the word "do" so it reads, "You said all I had to do was ask" - this will make more sense.

I liked how the flow is there straight away in the opening of the poem. I get from this first stanza the pain of being misunderstood and ignored. In a lot of ways neglected too. At this point you do not let on to who the characters are and their relationship but it is clear it is an important one to the writer.

Then you get mad,
Because you can't understand.
You say I'm far to young,
To need a helping hand.
And You don't even know me,
And you never will

- for this stanza I would make a few changes to make it read better :

"You say I'm far to young" to should be too, as in too much.

And You don't even know me,
And you never will

- in these two lines I don't think you need to repeat the word and, it takes away some of the power by using two less powerful words. Also you do not need the capital Y with the first you. I would have it as :

You don't even know me
and you never will :

or take away both the and's and have it read :

You don't even know me.
You never will!

This for me, creates so much power in the statements. Although, this is just my opinion.

Remember paten,
Your last born little girl,
Remember that day,
5th of December,
When she came into our world.
We loved her,
You probably loved her the most.
Then the open door to your heart was slammed, closed.

- this verse is good because you give us a bit more information about the other character and something they have been through. It also gives the impression of how you feel less important than what this child was. Pushed aside in a way. Good use of the word slammed, this really emphasised the impact the situation had.

she went,
your heart full of longing and torment.
Remember how it feels to be in that much pain.
Numb to the world,
Like you will never live again.
Well that's how I feel each and every day.
And I don't think this feeling will ever go away.

- since you have a capital for the start of your other sentences I assume you mean to have them at the start of this verse too and perhaps didn't notice they were in lower case?
-I liekd the way you were taking an experince which they have had which caused them severe pain, in order to explain to them how you really feel. In a clear way they can relate to and understand the pain better. This is a clever way to do it.

I'm empty, numb, but I still feel so much hurt.
And you should know me better,
Than anyone.
Because you gave birth to, into this world.
But you don't,
You may aswell help me tie up this rope!

- This line needs editing because it makes the reader stumble over it : Because you gave birth to, into this world"

- I think you have missed out "me" so it reads Because you gave birth to me. Then into this world doesn'y say much on its own. So I would remove this, or change it to read " brought me into this world"

I'm gonna jump,
Then I'm going to die,
My fragile soul,
will join my heart.
All the piece's
Will reach the sky,
And maybe I'll find some happiness tonight.
Even though I never said goodbye

- As for the first line I would change the "gonna" to going to. You have wrote a powerful poem here which deserves a lot of praise and I think the slang takes away some of the power.

You gave a good ending and your last line : But mum, don't be surprised.

- this gives the confirmation of the relationship between the characters. It also adds more power because you used this as your title and you have explained through out your poem why she shouldn't be surprised.

I really liked this poem and picked up a lot of deep feelings from it. You have expressed yourself well and left a feeling of empathy for this character and hope that she will be ok.

Good job.