I can't be friends with the man i used to love

I'm searching for you with my restless eyes..
I'm waiting for you with my loving heart...
I'm crying these tears that make me miss you..
but i smile when i think of you.

Your tricking the mind i called perfect...
Your destroying the heart i called caring...
Your loosing the women you called your everything.
and now you have nothing to gain.

I can't tell you how many times i have wished to see you in pain..
but that's bionically insane!!
I don't give a care about the way you lied to me!
I care about the future you made me want to see.
Your now a man that i despise...
but yet i can never get you out of my head.

I still oddly love you...
and wish i had you back..
But for how much i loved you... if i lost you again. i would simply have a heart attack...
You still wanna be friends.. i say no...
because i would honestly... never let you go... :'(