I can't explain the turmoil inside;
It reaps me blind every time;
Takes me by surprise, but there I am;
Completely alone, once again;

'takes me by surprise' sounds beter if it reads 'leaves me in surprise'

No matter how close, they won't survive;
I won't allow them to stay near;
Time after time I'll push them away;
Soon, away is where they will stay.

the last line of the stanza, I think, sound better if it reads 'far away, where they should stay'

Friends, family - no matter our relation;
It won't survive such infiltration;
No sneaky slips; invaders won't win;
My mental barrier won't let you in.

Maybe you mean 'let them in', since you're talking about invaders.

***

I've said goodbye to so many people,
'cause I find it difficult to reach out.
Don't know what's wrong with me,
Maybe I'm just messed up mentally.

Slight interaction can have me scared;
Perhaps I just refuse to be hurt.
I know I must take the risk some time;
But first, I need to overcome my mind.

always stellar my friend.

I can't explain the turmoil inside;
It reaps me blind every time;
Takes me by surprise, but there I am;
Completely alone, once again;

- I relate to this feeling well, it is sad tot hink you are alone with this but like you say it is so hard to explain that even when we are not alone we cannot possibly begin to let someone know what it is like inside. Great opening.

No matter how close, they won't survive;
I won't allow them to stay near;
Time after time I'll push them away;
Soon, away is where they will stay.

- yep, totally get where you are coming from, it is a defence mechanism that our brain does to us in order to protect us from being hurt again or let down. It is so painful to have someone walk away that by pushing them out we feel in control of it so if they decide to leave it won't hurt as much! Great writing!

Friends, family - no matter our relation;
It won't survive such infiltration;
No sneaky slips; invaders won't win;
My mental barrier won't let you in.

- loved this stanza, the barrier image is like the barriers you get on the rail way lines or car parks, they just drop down and there is nothing that can get through them. once they are down it is so hard to let them back up again, but you will in time my friend, it will come and there will be poeple in life that will help you ease them back up.

***

I've said goodbye to so many people,
'cause I find it difficult to reach out.
Don't know what's wrong with me,
Maybe I'm just messed up mentally.

- I have had this thought so many times, what is wrong with me that I cannot be like everyone else who can have people close and trust them without expecting it to end in tears. You have worded this well.

Slight interaction can have me scared;
Perhaps I just refuse to be hurt.
I know I must take the risk some time;
But first, I need to overcome my mind.

- your opening line here stands out to me because it relates to social anxiety, even someone saying hello or how are you can get me anxious at the communication!

the rest of the stanza explains why you do this, to protect you from being hurt, and also shows that you are aware you will have to let some poeple in taking the chances but just yet perhaps you are not ready. In time you will be

amazing poem, as for the title, I prefer the mentally undermined, it stands out more to me. Other suggestions may be mental barrier? or something to do with the barrier which this whole poem is about? Something to do with protection? Like rejection for protection?

5/5 :)

Khalid: Thank you for your comment. I will review your suggestions now.

Baby Rainbow/ Saffie (?): Thank you also for your comment and for your suggestions with the title. 'Rejection for Protection' has a nice ring to it, but think I will go with 'Mentally Undermined' this time. I may change my mind but.... Thank you also, for letting me know I'm not alone in this feeling of social anxiety.

Take care the both of you.
A.

First of all can I say I was surprised, after reading the content of this poem, to see you have it listed in the friendship section because...although I know it's about you keeping friends at a distance I think it would be more suited in the poems about life...I think it would also get more feedback there?

The poem itself is honest and written from the heart I know. I have a couple of suggestion for your consideration...

I can't explain the turmoil inside;
It reaps me blind every time;
Takes me by surprise, but there I am;
Completely alone, once again;

No matter how close, they won't survive;
I won't allow them to stay near;
Time after time I'll push them away;
Soon, away is where they will stay.

^^^^^You use the word won't in the first and second line here so I suggest you say don't in line one. I also think I would be more suitable than I'll in line three.

Line four is a little ragged and...I found myself stumbling over it...just didn't flow as well as the other stanzas...I'd suggest..

Away, I fear is where they'll stay.

Friends, family - no matter our relation;
It won't survive such infiltration;
No sneaky slips; invaders won't win;
My mental barrier won't let them in.

^^^^^

Again you use won't twice...maybe change this also.

***

I've said goodbye to so many people,
'cause I find it difficult to reach out.
Don't know what's wrong with me,
Maybe I'm just messed up mentally.

Slight interaction can have me scared;
Perhaps I just refuse to be hurt.
I know I must take the risk some time;
But first, I need to overcome my mind.

^^^^

I think line one is a little too long ..

Slight interaction leaves me scared...?

There are only my thoughts, of course, but...I did like the raw emotion here regardless.

Thank you Hellon for your suggestions. I will review them now. (:

Sometimes all we need is a break. This is a very good piece because it is a poem which portrays an universal language: we are afraid of being hurt. Besides we are always our best enemies. My mind captured me and it has been difficult to be in jail and I know that to be free, I have to overcome it.

Aww, the title of this poem caught my eye. I really like how you penned this poem, I felt I could relate to some of the emotions you showed.

I can't explain the turmoil inside;
It reaps me blind every time;
Takes me by surprise, but there I am;
Completely alone, once again;

^ I think you really showed how much internal struggle you're facing and how no words could describe it.

No matter how close, they don't survive;
I won't allow them to stay near;
Time after time I'll push them away;
Away, I fear is where they'll stay.

^ I got this stanza more as I read the rest of the poem, but it's clear that you push anyone who gets too close to you

I really liked this part in the next stanza:
"My mental barrier won't let them in."

^ this kind of reminded me of how we feel towards people we're not very comfortable with. I know because I've felt it... and there just an instinct or something tell me to stay away from that person

I really liked the ending. I think the emotions you expressed were clear, and it is a very relatable subject. We all probably feel this way at times, and may have pushed people away as you described.

"I know I must take the risk some time;
But first, I need to overcome my mind."

^ Love the ending - it was perfect! I know we do have to overcome our minds! But yes it's true, when you're hurt it's hard to take that risk again, but you should decide when it's worth the risk or not!

Great poem! Really enjoyed it =)