Comments : My Heritage

  • 6 years ago

    by Wild flower

    This is GREAT, I love your strong tone here, and how you're proud to be you. We're all humans we're all the same, being black or white, that doesnt matter.
    Awesome job, I love this.

  • 6 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    In Gods eye we are all equal.
    You should be proud of your heritage
    never let others convince you otherwise
    I call it ignorance, delt with that myself
    great write Paul

  • 6 years ago

    by Thomas

    Ignorance is a disease spread among many people. What difference does it make what color your skin is? Nothing, people calling other people bad names are just insecure about themselves and don't know who they are.

    Great poem man!

  • 6 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Dude, this is a wonderful write, very strong it should be....and the interlinking lines about laughing made me smile writing is fantastic and i love to read.

    Great job fella awesome :-)

  • 6 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Being native american is something I'm very proud of !! All of us should be proud of our heritage... Hugs you!!

    we all bleed the same color... We all are human beings.. and those who laugh at another persons color of skin...are simply not comfortable in their own....

    Powerful poem Paul!!!!!

  • 6 years ago

    by Decayed

    Great piece Paul, showcasing the everlasting crisis: racism. I am so proud that you are proud. Kudos :)

  • 6 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Others say its the symbol of
    being a backward people,
    words that hurt but I just don't
    seem to care what they think

    - I think this should read " of being a backwards person instead of a backward people.

    This piece spoke voloumes of pride about who you are and your pride of where you come from. I admire you and this piece so much.

    I would suggest a slight change in this but it is only my opinion, in your last stanza it is all made up of pride and you are shouting it out there and the reader can feel your pride. Therefor I would suggest you take your last line and break it up so the ending is a singled out line, creating the very final line of pride which sums up your poem!

    I mean like this :

    I am proud of my heritage and my tongue
    My everything is my delight, my darkness
    is my light, you might call it a curse, I call
    it a gift..

    yes I am dark and that is my heritage!

    It just puts more emphasis on your point, that is all, but again just my opinion.

    Very good job, would like to read more like this.

  • 6 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Powerful, beautifully-penned. This is what people should be reading. Will nominate when I get my votes! :)

  • 6 years ago

    by Darren

    Paul this is awesome, hopefully this type of racism is dying out as each generation passes, just think what your forefathers had to endure. I love you pride and this is a real message to those neanderthals that are stuck in the past. This definately gets my first vote of the week.

  • 6 years ago

    by marlon lumangyao

    Truly i laugh after i read this not because of your color have a great spirit!!! thats it! who cares? you are more than a man than them! the question is thus they know thier heritage? who knows? maybe?? hehehe..

    i love the whole poem full of positive insights it's uplifting!..

  • 6 years ago

    by Nema

    This is a great idea for a poem. The issues of racism will never end, clearly.

    Your poem reminded me of several things. For a starter, it reminded me of the novel "To Kill A Mockingbird", it is one of those novels that tackle the black/white issues brilliantly.

    Also, your line "And I laugh some more" reminded me of the movie "Fight Club" when Tyler Durden said "And I ran some more".

    I don't mean to be boring, look at the bright side, your poem reminded me of two brilliant pieces of art.

    Well done.
    Write on~

  • 6 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Heritage is defintely a gift! This was such a strong and powerful poem, it really moved me.....what a poem written from your soul. I love how truthful you are in this, how you just say you keep laughing and moving on. I love your beliefs and attitudes in here- it keeps me hoping. We can't doubt what we are or ponder if what we're made of my not be a gift. It always is one. Good job and congrats on the win!!!

  • 6 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    *Stands and applauds you Paul*

    This poem took my breath away... The subject is a powerful one. When others choose to judge us for the color of your skin, you need to stand up to the narrow minded negativity and be proud. The strength within this piece is just wonderful! I love the repetition of the lines "when you laugh" each line is a bit different, but it builds up to the end of the piece.. And I loved that... and the end of this poem I was actually screaming "You GO Paul".. I will read this poem often, for it is packed with inspiration!! Well Done Paul

  • 6 years ago

    by NobodyKnowsItButMe

    "Yes I am dark and that's why the
    sun rises so I not exert my fury on you
    I am proud of my heritage and my tongue
    My everything is my delight, my darkness
    is my light, you might call it a curse, I call
    it a gift"
    Wow! If possible I could have told you, " Yo man! You rock! Lets party!"
    Love your piece dude!

    For this, I'll "stand and applaud" a thousand times!

  • Firstly - WELL SAID! < enough said.

    My black skin has people staring
    in awe
    Some say its a curse passed on
    from my greatest of grandfathers

    But I laugh as I walk by

    Firstly, second line: 'its' needs to be ' it's ' I believe as it can be lengthened to it is.
    I like this opening, it's straight to the point. I also love the 'laugh as I walk by' bit - it just really shows your pride in your heritage. More people should have that sense of pride in their own heritage.

    Others say its the symbol of
    being a backward people,
    words that hurt but I just don't
    seem to care what they think

    So I laugh as I walk by

    It is sad that some people are so close-minded and judgemental. Again, love the 'laugh as I walk by' -- emphasising your pride.

    "Black man" they shout to call me
    as if I don't have a name anymore
    But I am black so I respond with the
    uttermost pride

    And I laugh some more

    Your pride (and patience for that matter) must be strong for you to ignore that utter rudeness from people.

    They think am rude and raise their
    voice with all thoughts of threats
    In their boastful tongue, they ask who
    I think I am to laugh

    While laughing, I say

    In the first line, I think it should read:
    'They think I am rude...' < slight addition
    And I think that in the third line remove the capitalisation on the 'In' -- it isn't necessary.
    In my opinion, I love the fact that you laugh at their rudeness - it's almost is payback for it and it would certainly confuse people... :))

    I am more man than they could be,
    more human than what they claim to
    be, Yes I am dark and that's why the
    sun rises so I not exert my fury on you

    This reminds me of the quote by... I don't know actually that says: 'it's not you with the problem, it's society' (or something along those lines anyway).
    I loath people who judge before they get to know a person - it's truly sad that some peole cannot overcome the racial/colour difference between people and just embrace that person for who they are.

    I am proud of my heritage and my tongue
    My everything is my delight, my darkness
    is my light, you might call it a curse, I call
    it a gift

    Yes, I am dark and that is my heritage

    The second line doesn't need to have that capital unless certain punctuation is added to the piece.
    I love the part: 'my darkness is my light'
    Great ending.

    Ok, great use of repitition - it doesn't always work that well, but here it really does. It emphasises your pride, I think.

    Some minor alterations regarding capitals, as I've written above.

    I love the message you are expressing here. Everyone needs to be aware of this! Good on you for standing up for yourself. ((:

    Keep writing. 5/5

    *Congratulations on the well deserved win!

  • 6 years ago

    by Adelle

    This, this is phenomenal what can I say it has left me without words. This reminds me of another poem called I, Too, Sing America by Langston Hughes. I do not know if it has influenced your work but it is on the same subject, written differently but just as beautifully as yours.

  • 6 years ago

    by Yakori bint Muhammed

    This is what I call an epic masterpiece. You always WOW! me with your high spirits to always speak volumes about the 'African'. So so proud of you. Its been a battle centuries back since the advent of slave trade, how the black skin is been seen as an ostracised being with no superior purpose in their lives.. The debate has been tough and it took pride, relentless faith, diligence, integrity, perseverance and objectives for our yester years leaders and people to attain their rightful rights in our societies.

    Nonetheless, it still didn't stop the African man who always has a 'staunch pride' to persue and claim his or her aspiration to go for greater heights. It didn't deter us to feel disheartened or distraught. Rather got us actiively and ardently ready to go all the way without any form of inferiority complex. Uptil now in some parts of the continent in the world, some abhor associating themselves with the black man. Its rather unfortunate for them but not the African man.

    Its agreed that racism can't be eradicated in some peoples viens but its their loss and our gain. Beautiful portrayal of the 'black skin'. Keep churning out amazing messages. You'll really go a long way with your faith and belief in accepting your stance as an African. Thus impacting others positively with your dreams and thoughts. I'll always be proud of you brother, much love.

  • 6 years ago

    by AnnanHeppinstall

    Hah, I can't get enough of this guy's writing. two thumbs up.

  • 6 years ago

    by Aubrey

    I loved this....I never understud why skin color matters so much.... a person.. a person.... No matter the color of their skin....your awesome.... so dont listen to foolish lies:)

  • 6 years ago

    by DirtRoadGirl

    I loved this... your pride earns you a great amount of respect