Comments : Electric Kiss

  • 9 years ago

    by Britt

    "I can feel lightning strikes
    my heart whenever we would"

    This was a bit awkward, I think you're missing a word. lol. Maybe "in" after strikes, or before "my"? Or maybe I can feel THAT lightning strikes my heart. Something here is missing, but I LOVE the sentiment.. really beautiful.

    Your first stanza (and the line after) had me in awe. I have this thing about feeling safe in arms - once you have that feeling you don't want to ever let go of it, it's truly beautiful, isn't it? And leading into knowing God exists, it's like he sent this man and these arms to you, to prove to you He is real, that He doesn't want anything but happiness and good for you. WOW what a few lines can do to my brain! lol GORGEOUS

    I love the sound of thunder and now I love it even more lol. I've never quite seen thunder/lightning romanticized, not in this way anyway, and now I'm sad I didn't think of it first, haha! This is really gorgeous imagery here.

    The ending and the line breaks.. sigh. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I love how you've separated "I welcome it" for such a dramatic emphasis. Gah. Gorgeous poetry!

  • 9 years ago

    by Chelsey

    I'm not even lieing Liz, I just read that last line and goosebumps just shot down the right side of my arm....

    Absolutely love what you have done here. How you took that expression and turned it into this metaphor of an electric kiss...*sigh*..what else is one supposed to say about this poem besides how adorabely beautiful it is?

    I loved the last line!! I just liked the use of "welcomed". . Rather that accepter, or just ending it with "in this case it has"....welcomed was such a great word! Shows you just really embrace the moment..

    So happy you posted something again. Nominated :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Autuumnbree

    Excellent write. I really like how you use lightning to describe the electricity between you and your lover. I love the connection and I enjoy the sweetness of this read.

  • 9 years ago

    by Ole Carsten

    Nice poem with lots of sweetness

  • 9 years ago

    by Illusion

    They say that lightning never strikes
    the same place twice, but in this case
    I welcome it
    That's my favrt like.. This poem is just too sweet..

  • 9 years ago

    by Decayed

    This has literally electrified my senses. I adore this write so much. Thanks for writing again, Liz.... <3 :) You are so missed. Your talent, too. Definitely nominated!

    "I knew that God existed."

    What a line. So artisticcccc!!!

    and your execution was Pefectoooo :)


  • 9 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I've missed your writes lovely lady...
    This is well penned with good flow, I love it.

    You really are talented!

  • 9 years ago

    by Boy

    Amazing and well written. the title is very attractive and suits and fit very well with the poem.

    your every word reflect the love great writing.

  • 9 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Arrggghhhh!!!!! Lizzzzz!!!!

    Just AMAZING!! Seriously this is one of my all time favourite love poems ever in the whole of ever !!!!!!

    Just a perfect god damn write....tongue hanging out, stars in eyes in serious AWE!!!!!


  • 9 years ago

    by Thomas

    That is some powerful love you are describing here Lioness :)

    I wish I had the same feeling you are describing cause it sounds pretty darn amazing!

  • 9 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    Liz, Another great poem by you. What I loved about this one was it's softness and how the reader can lose his or herself in your words. I also liked how you spoke of the saying "Lightening never strikes in the same place twice". You ended the poem so positively it leave the reader feeling hopeful.


  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Finally, she adds another poem!!

    I must admit you have made it worth the wait lol, this was so romantic and heart pumping. Well done , 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    You are just perfect, well as this piece right here. <3 I just can't stop reading it and can't stop feeling the electricity of pure lovely emotions.

    Being in your loved ones arms... oh, the feeling of being safe is so wonderful.

    "at that point I knew God existed."

    I'm not going to say the lines that I loved because I do love them all... but that ending... dear God, you are a genius! lol

    Nominating! :D

  • 9 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    I loved this and just realised you are one of my favourite writers ,

    You really have away with words even the simplist words leek power and emotion I love it :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Yesssssss so happy this won!!!!

  • 9 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Congratulations sweets!! Well deserved win!
    I do love the fiery side of this poem... and its explosive!!

  • 9 years ago

    by Karla

    A well-deserved win girlfriend!

  • 9 years ago

    by Decayed

    Congrats babygirl<3

  • 9 years ago

    by Hellon

    Hey's nice to see a poem from you after such a long time and a winner at that so congratulations dear lady.

    Just something that I feel isn't quite right in this stanza...

    I can feel lightning strikes
    my heart whenever we would
    kiss and the sound of thunder
    echoes throughout my body.

    In the first line you say you can feel which means we are in the present tense, then you say would which is past and finally the sound of thunder echoes which...again is present tense. Just something that needs fixing either were probably caught up in the moment of theis kiss and your mind was a little frayed haha!!!!

    also...I think strikes should be singular...strike?

  • 9 years ago

    by Amy

    Such a gorgeous write. Congrats!