I Cried Today

I cried today as I tried to hide my secret life,
the sea of scars that brands me-

I CANNOT cry.

- good choice to capitalize this word because it is like you are convincing yourself not to cry and shouting at yourself to remind yourself not to cry.

I cannot let anyone see the weakness within me, so
I stop and look at the face before me-

A shell.

- it is so sad that you feel you have to hide this weakness from others. WE doo this far too much and it only makes us suffer more - and yet we cannot get out of the routine of hiding it.

I put up the mask that hides my ghostly qualities, the
one that hides the monster that is me.

- this shows more about how you see yourself and how you try and hide this from the world, but in reality they do not see what you see under the mask, they see something better than what you think.

I pull it tight, crushing it over the blood and tears, and
my secret fears, so no one will see the dark mess that is me.

= very powerful word flow here with the tears and blood and fears. all very sad things and representing pain and depression.

I cried today as I tried to hide from myself.

I broke.

I failed.

- this ending is so strong ebcause when we are overwhelmed with feelings we cannot help but cry, no matter how much we train ourselves not to, we sometimes have to just let it go.

I relate to this one and you wrote it very well.

So today, I hate myself even more. I think you have a lot of inner healing to do but I believe you will get there.