Comments : Living In Yesterday

  • 11 years ago

    by Hellon

    It's nice to see you post once more and although I don't fulled get your meaning there are certain aspects of this poem that stand out to me but first...

    The only thing I could return
    were silent confessions
    Since my lungs lacked the courage
    to dare breath escape

    ^^^^

    First line..thing..singular

    then.. were silent confessions....plural?

    Then reality crept in like a winter breeze
    against fire warm skin
    That "promising light"
    held nothing worth existing for
    except a bitter reassurance
    For when time has found another
    pair of hands
    to re-shape the broken
    ^^^

    Winter breeze seemed like...not kick in the arse enough for me..winter chill maybe?

    other than that...I loved this stanza the most....loved the whole poem actually....nice to see you back...said that already I know haha

  • 11 years ago

    by Blood of a Lion

    Good poem man, I enjoyed it reminds me of some of my life.

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    This is sad because she was the one that brought meaning to your life it seems, she was the one that could see through your eyes. The eyes are the gate to our soul so she saw through your soul and became something more.

    This girl was really important yet I can't seems to understand why both where broken... she didn't speak much I guess, thick fog.. but she could see really good.

    She might be looking for someone else but it seems like you are not looking for someone else, you are looking for her while doing so you are living in yesterday.

    Awesome poem.

  • 11 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    You've still got it. Now use it some more. -Nik

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I'm sighing right now... this makes my heart wrench.

    First stanza: I adore your opening. I assume you are meaning that your heart is cold... but she almost had you warmed up by holding you, giving you the motivation to want to feel something again.

    Second: You ached to tell her your feelings, but they came out silent....as they do often.

    Third: I love how you said your silence created a thick fog, that's wonderful. It works very nice.

    Fourth: The relationship obviously didn't work out. I'm not sure if it was because she couldn't handle the silence or if you couldn't truly let her know your feelings because of the silence. I love how you personified time.

    Ending: Fantastic ending. She will be dying for tomorrow towards moving on, I suppose... moving on mend her broken heart...while you will be stuck in yesterday, wallowing in heartbreak and possibly regret of never allowing to break the silence.

    Wonderful poem, think I'll add to my favorites I love it that much. :)

    Keep writing!

  • 11 years ago

    by The Queen

    I think what I really like about this piece is its easy yet constant flow. You might not be aware, which I highly doubt, but I think the meter of this piece is nearly perfect.

    :)

  • 10 years ago

    by WintersAngel

    Wow. Very sad indeed. Very nice flow though.

  • 10 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    This one does break your heart. Though at the first stanza there is a tiny bit of hope. I love how you describe the hug as something so magical that it can heal a hurt heart. The wording is perfect to show the two sides love can hold. The character who is sad you show vividly that sadness even held by love kills you. The way the story enfolds she is trying to get you to open up and the wording it seems like you don't know how to express your true feelings. The last lines are extremely powerful and proves that the past can be very overwhelming. Overall beautiful poem!