HUMPTY DUMPTY --A warped version

Long ago, when time was young at heart,

There lived a great egg, whose size would give anyone a start.

He wasn't an egg of a phoenix or dragon it was said,

Just a stupendously huge unhatched white egg.

So massive in size and weight, surely unrivaled.

He swayed like a goat who loved to saddle.

His days he spent on the king's wall, rocking to and fro.

Leering and whistling as the great ladies would stroll.

The king's guard would scream at him to get down,

But he would just grin and continue to clown.

"Humpty Dumpty you silly fat egg, said the king,

Leave the great ladies alone and stop acting like a ding-a-ling."

Never! He said, with a crackle, "I like it here and I aim to stay.

Get used to it, I plan to never ever leave or stray.

All of a sudden there appeared a massive gust of wind,

Humpty began to wobble, soon unseating his quite large rear-end.

Off the wall he tumbled with a thunderous crash.

He knew at once that this was worse than the worse diaper rash
.
All the kings' men and all the kings' horses rushed over to aid,

Only to shake their heads, totally dismayed.

Humpty Dumpty was broken beyond their repair,

So it was off to his mom house, for her tender

loving care