Father's Shame

I have finally found a way to open myself up to the power of the universe. It was no doubt difficult at first. A lifetime of pain and confusion, surrounded by people who were all about using. I had to learn about self love, without it was like being a wingless dove.

During this journey I discovered so many things. My father was not the man he presented himself to be. Most of my life he was not around, when I gave birth to his only grandson he was nowhere to be found. Now he is remarried to someone new. She does not care for me she thinks I don't have a clue.

The moment I met her, she greeted me with hatred. I could not understand this but her feelings were clear. I explained this to my father as he sat drinking his beer. I told him of the cruel things she said to me and begged him to take his time, before making any decisions to marry her because life would not be kind.

Within a year they decide to marry. Still were those feelings that she continued to carry. She was cruel and harsh to me in my father's presence he sat there and said nothing to my dismay! He accepted her actions as if it were okay.

I prayed to God to please open his eyes to her evil ways, I could not understand how he could let these things continue day after day. I continued to pray and three years later I would discover, these bad deeds were not just the doing of my stepmother. Why had she hated me so as if predetermined before we even met? Because my father planted that seed within her I bet.

Her children were successful and well to do. I on the otherhand was below average in his mind. To hide his shame and criticism of me, he let her do the talking. I soon discovered she was not the only one barking.

She was abrupt and cruel but said things out loud,my father on the other hand had never been proud. His opinion of me his only daughter was in no way good. God opened my eyes as I knew he would.