Wishing

I see you watching me
Even while you're holding hands with her
I never wanted to be this free
I wish it was my hand you were holding

I miss everything we had
I just don't understand
How something so good could end so bad
I miss us being a couple

I wish she'd just disappear
Go away and never come back
I just want you to be near
I wish you'd choose me instead

Because even if her plane crashes tonight
She'll find some way to disappoint me
By not burning in the wreckage
Or drowning at the bottom of the sea

You'll never know how much I miss you
You won't see it in my face
You'll never know I'll never find another
That could ever take your place

I'll plaster a smile on my face
And hide all the tears I shed
I'm in a very fragile place
I'm so sick of pretending to be ok

There's so much you'll never see
And so much you'll never know
Because there's too much to hide
And so much I'll never show

When you ask me how many times
You broke my heart
I'll look up at the sky and say count the stars
Wishing that we could just restart

Because if people who used to date
Remain friends after the fact
They're either still in love
Or they never were