Comments : Collecting darkness

  • 11 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    You know somthing your good but every now and again you write somthing that totally surpasses most poets this is it again , I loved every word , this was epic girl!!!

    Every word , throbbing with sadness

    Just amazing Chels .

  • 11 years ago

    by Liz

    I agree with the above comment! ^
    Its sad and painful, but still beautiful to read. The words flowed great, the whole thing was perfect really. Love it.

    -Liz

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Chelsey, Chelsey, Chelsey...
    I am sitting here with my mouth gaping open, I am in total awe of you once again.
    Like Tony said, you have surpassed anything I have ever read on this site with this piece,

    "stop gossiping to the walls about how he's not here!"

    ^^That was just WOW, how often do we speak aloud to no-one, just the walls to hear our thoughts, and you wrote it like so perfectly

    A totally sad piece, that captured every inch of me, and a beauty that is just so you!

    Mwah
    xxxx

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I love this poem Chels, it is awesome and one of your best by far.

    I plead with the darkness to stop reminding me
    of the shadow your beard casts on your jaw line.
    I beg of her to quit tapping my shoulder, indicating
    I'm taking up too much space on the bed. I shout at her,
    "stop gossiping to the walls about how he's not here!"

    - I love this opening, it is quite dark and eerie in a small way and then in another it is so deep with the loss of something.

    I've asked her to stop...she denies my request.

    This room is soiled with dirty linen and crusted dishes
    because I'm trying my best to pollute her. To rid her.
    Mirrors are broken because seeing the reflection of
    her blackness doubled my pain. One of her is enough.

    - I like how you used the dirty dishes and linen to create the idea of pollution, very clever and created a very vivid image of mess and uncleanliness. It is sad about the refelction int he mirror, and how you view this image. :(

    I've asked her to leave... she denies my request.

    You emptied my house of every remnant that
    reminded me of you, but you forgot one thing.
    Your most valuable possession, your award
    winning prize that you won the day evil entered
    your heart... you left her here.

    - this verse was hard hitting - it is like you will never forget about him , even looking into the mirror and seeing yourself, seeing the sadness and the invisible scars in your eyes reminds you of him.

    Her ears are deaf to any voice that isn't yours,
    so please ...

    come retrieve this suffocation that ruined our love.

    - touching poem, bits of darkness and sadness and on the whole just a horrible situation of not being able to have that person who is not perhaps the best for you but you still want them non the less.

    Great work.

  • 11 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    I hate you

  • 11 years ago

    by Someone Invisible

    So deep and it actually speaks to a person and even if they havent been here can make them feel what you feel..awesome..just...wow