One September morning
I awakened from a dream.
Inspiring flowers bloomed and
I was lost in the fragrant aroma.
I loved the way you mention September as a starting time of your dream. The begining of your poem as getting inspired from blooming flower is simply fantastic. it's really the fruit of your dream.
The steps to achieving my goals
were handwritten in the petals
of my colorful imagination.
Light bulbs were flashing.
This is really nice. The 2nd line "in the petals" I think it sounds better if you say "on the petals". I loved the addition of the word "colorful" to the word "imagination", it completes the picture after being just black and white. Now lighting thebulbs reveals though if you begin photographing. My lovely fav stanza.
I carved my to-do list onto
the hardwood floors
as a constant reminder;
to ensure I achieve it.
That's an important step. You insist to achieve the goals.
When opportunity phones me,
I explain to you our conversation.
Your discouraging words shock me
and I sense your worries and discontent.
Losing patience, you let go
of my goals that are tied
to balloons and they slowly
fly into the distant sky.
Her you revealed how much discouraging is the phone call leading to evaporation of dreams. I loved the idea of balloons that'll be trapped in dark clouds in the next stanza.
The poem leaves an impression that whatever dreams appear in minds they can fly away because of some opponents who discourage you.
A lovely piece from your side. Thank you for sharing that.
Added to my favorites poems.
This is a soulful poem and a true guide for many. We have many on this site who resort to depression and feel bad about themselves. this poem acts a guide and inspiration for all of them.
And the metaphors used are so soothing and beautiful:)
So true Sarah, people always get discouraged easily of course when someone knocks them down when they are excied about something, but there has to come a point where you say forget them and you strive to reach your dreams!
7 years ago
by Tara Kay
OMG Sara, I love this!
The message is an inspiring one and it made me feel better about so many things that I had been discouraged from, and I thank you for that.
What a masterpiece!
I really missed reading and commenting on your works. Am happy to be back. I loved the fact that you used the parts and concept of flowers, as a metaphor. That's wonderful, gave the poem a striking beauty, somewhat ethereal. Giving the theme a sense of 'life'.
Below is my comprehension of your piece.
1st and 2nd Stanza:
I like how you started the first line, it makes one think of a story. The subject had a dream; she saw flowers that are motivating and it had an overwhelming sweet smell that got her lost.
Written on its petals were an outline on how to achieve her aspirations, which are full of vibrant ideas. There's also light beaming from the bulb, sign of a good tiding.
3rd and 4th Stanza:
Here she engraved her lineup onto the wood floor to be reminding her regularly thus realizing it in the long run.
When an opportunity comes, she tries hard to make her negative conscience see reasons with her positive conscience. Its dissuading utterance shocking her and she can perceive the anxiety and dissatisfaction within.
In another perspective it can be a hindrance coming in the form of a person; blocking your chances of victory, or a trial; putting you in a plight that'll make you want to give up.
5th, 6th and 7th Stanza:
Impatience letting go of a staunch and tangible dream.
And that action flung the dream into nothingness.
Trapped in a pool of pessimism and uncertainty, you know you need to fight and persevere so as to win your goals.
Whenever you're pursuing a dream, that negative conscience of yours or someone or even a condition will grasp it away from you and you watch others capture it instead.
Wow! That's such a inspirational poem written flawlessly.
As humans we all have a conscience that determines our sense of right and wrong. That been said we also have to nurture that conscience with a positive nudge so that when we're susceptible to give in to the whispers of any darkness we can retreat and indulge ourselves in lightness.
Darkness can manifest in the form of people; enemy of progress, scheming ones downfall. It can also be a tribulation or perhaps our very negative conscience.
No one can do that for us, we can be motivated and influenced but we only have the power to take such convictions; to pursue our dreams.
Enjoyed reading every bit of it and I know you've helped someone to realize his/her goals despite the ramifications. Thumbs up! :-) ...