Silent letters (why????)

Let me tell you something thats for the birds
a useless silent letter attached to my words.
Were my forefathers spellers infernal?
that would explain zany spelled words like the colonel.
are they just a bunch of extra letters?
(waste not want not)
or perhaps the work of a semi-skilled type setter?
Ill ask my "P"sychiatrist about that crazy silent letter
a man with all the answers will surely know better.
(whoops! silent P . Never mind!)
Maybe the feller speller was practically jokin'
knowing these impractical letters would remain unspoken.
to the sound of its word these letters have no relation
I wonder if they carry over in translation?
a silent letters not something an intellectual fixed up
more like something a pre-schooler mixed up.
maybe throughout history there was a bored bard
thinking silent letters trendy and avant garde'
to explain a silent letter no one really knows
mr opossum is still the same without his O.
One good thing about silent letters I want to announce
theres never a problem when its time to pronounce.
So what is their function? it dosent compute
maybe one of the dictionary authors was a mute.
well I guess like the G in phlegm
I will continue to write but not speak them.
It gave me a brainstorm all those silent letters I wrote
Im going to invent the silent musical note.
You wont hear it but it will just be there
'cuz I guess everything has to be somewhere.
To compose silent note music I'll take a big chance
so my deaf brothers and sisters can dance!
-santacruz-