What Goes on Inside

by beauty from ashes   Feb 12, 2013


There's a little place that I run to every time things go wrong
It's not happy there, but right now, I like the darkness.
The darkness hides all my faults, my insecurities, the demands
I just wish I could lock the door.
I used to only visit occasionally, but lately it has been my place of solace.
My island of darkness where no one can abuse me but myself
But this solace has become my living nightmare
It visits me now, not the other way around
And because it's dark, I can't find my way out.
The things that send me there are valid and true
But right now all I want is comfort from you.

Little by little it builds and builds, till my little island has become a fortress.
And deep within the dungeon, I sit there in the cold, wet and alone.
I wish I could go back to the time when this place was imaginary
Now it's a living hell I experience daily.
I cry out for help, but no one sees or listens, because it is only me there
Voices bounce off the dark walls, saying "Selfish
Weak, Immature. You've put yourself here, now climb and slip and scrape
To get yourself out."

I try so hard, but the walls are so high.
My muscles get tired, and I have no will to get out.
I stay buried there because it is safe.
It's my hell, but it is safe.

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Daylight Lucidity

    I... Wow... Incredibly vivid and quite a good read. I loved it because I can relate, I was like this for a while. It's hard to find your way out and sometimes you don't want to, but it'll be worth it in the end if you keep trying.

  • 11 years ago

    by Daylight Lucidity

    I... Wow... Incredibly vivid and quite a good read. I loved it because I can relate, I was like this for a while. It's hard to find your way out and sometimes you don't want to, but it'll be worth it in the end if you keep trying.

  • 11 years ago

    by Marcy Lewis

    This made me cry. It's clearly a metaphor about depression, and so many people can relate to it. You didn't put yourself here. It came to you first. Depression always will.

    I try so hard, but the walls are so high.
    My muscles get tired, and I have no will to get out.
    I stay buried there because it is safe.
    It's my hell, but it is safe.

    ^This makes my heart break. It's so completely truthful, and explains exactly what clawing your way free of depression is like, if you even want to. With depression, it IS a safe place. You know what to expect, and at this time, it's the only stability you really feel you have, which is very evident in this piece. And in hindsight, it's absolute hell. You can't get out, or you feel like you can't. It's your own inside world that only you and a select few understand.

    My island of darkness where no one can abuse me but myself

    ^That is a totally chilling line. This poem is super vivid, and it gives me chills reading it.

    Great write, love.

  • 11 years ago

    by xXx Eternal PainxXx

    Wow!!! i'm speechless...this reminds me of my past since i was like this girl in the poem...but the trick to unlocking yourself from that place is to realize your faults and prove you are worthy and light your heart up...anyways like i said i am speechless with this poem it has so much emotions the flow was okay but the story captivated me soo much!! 5/5

    Queen Ashlin

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