How do I do nuthin?

by Skyler   Feb 14, 2013


The teacher said "Don't do nuthin, and sit!"
But sittin's a somethin now, isn't it?
I raised my hand to find out how.
Annoyed, she cried, "WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW?!"

I stated, quite calmly, "How do I do nuthin?"
See, I cut in a lot, so, she started huffin.
"Why can't you kids just sit and obey?"
"Well sittin and doin are somethin", I say.

"You know what I mean!" (honest, I didn't)
"Breathin is nuthin, but chatterin isn't!"
I pulled out my Webster's and looked up the word,
And read it quite clearly, no syllable slurred:

"Nothing, noun, means "no single thing""
"GO TO THE OFFICE!" I rose with a spring.
Our mean principal said "We want nuthin less
Than your best behavior, and do not digress."

"Now return to the classroom, and say nuthin more,
Or I'll grab my old paddle and, I swear, you'll be sore!"
I s'pose if there's "nuthins" called "more" and "less",
that makes nuthin somethin, I guess.

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Liz

    I loved this!! I moved down south a couple years ago, and this exactly what it's like, lol. Thanks for sharing

  • 11 years ago

    by dalllllal

    Loved this the humor in it is infectious

  • 11 years ago

    by Mohan

    Very funny and excellent creativity

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    I didn't find it funny funny but it does have a humorous tone,
    some parts felt kind of force.. for instance.

    See, I cut in a lot, so, she started huffin.

    ^ I felt that one was like sometimes I do with rhymes, as a filler so that it could rhyme with nothing.. then this one

    "Than your best behavior, and do not digress."

    ^ digress while it rhymes with less... sounds too sophisticated to go with the other words that were used in the poem... even though, it comes from the principal, but since the principal also says nuthin instead of nothing then I feel digress is too hmm from higher class of words lol.

    Other than those things, I found the poem humorous. It is true people say do nothing but just as your sarcasm in this line " breathing is nuthin, but chattering isn't" if we think about it everything is something and there isn't really a nothing.

    • 11 years ago

      by Skyler

      The "saphistacate'd" Southern accent is the one I meant for this to be read in. Think of foghorn leghorn talking to huck finn.

  • 11 years ago

    by Rusheena

    LOL, I love this! I love the wordplay and witty banter. It reminds me of my days when I used to get in trouble for nothin'. Favorited!

    Nice work :)

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