Please just hand me a blade. One that is new and very sharp. Let me have it so that I can use it over and over. To let the blood pour out of me. To know that I can feel something in this life. So that I don't feel numb all the time.
Give me a blade so that I can have one friend who will always be there when I need one. So that when I get to numb I can let out some pain. So that I can see blood. To know what it's like to feel something.
Give me a blade so that I can feel like a normal person for a little bit. It will help me see and experience life. So that the depression can go away for just a small period of time. To feel relaxed.
Give me a blade that will help me escape my mind. To help me not think and think and think. To calm my thoughts. To control them for a little.
All of this is what a blade to me feels like. If I can't be happy then at least I have something in my life that can make me happy for small periods of time each day.
