My Sanctuary

My sanctuary was within her arms
Now my haven is wrapped around another
I know she never meant to cause harm
But I loved her like I'll never love another lover.
I escape into the shadows of my mind
Where the peace, numb and shallow, lies
On the border of drowning insanity, where sweet promises lie
And might I reach it if I try...
I want the insanity, the sanctuary I yearn for
As my heart remains ablaze with memories
While I see you with your new love, burning me to my core
Where my soul shatters and sinks to the bottom of the ocean of tears.
Destiny rewritten with my blood
In elegant script used by olden times
On parchment stained with death
Bloody ink, quill, and heart broken, I write.
I have yet to know what the future shall bring
Whether insanity or shadows are to be my sanctuary
All I can do is sit and think
About the possibilities that lie before me,
Nightmares wake me every time I dream
I scream and writhe in agony unmentionable
Tears of crimson roll down my porcelain, frail, cheeks
Only a small indicator of the pain I suffer, even then I wear a mask of deception
To ease their worried looks
They mustn't know of the line I walk
Bordering on the insane and sane
Tripping me with each new fear of which I don't talk.
Might I be facing the end of all hope
Choking every last breath from my lungs
Sending me to the sanctuary I so crave
Where I shall never be shunned
Surrounded by the comfort I wish for
By the love I want to again cradle
Near to the heart that lies still, yes the end of all hope.
Where might I find my sanctuary?
In the shadows or in the promise of insanity?