Masquerade

I'm holding the four bladed razor inside my clenched fists
ready to scar the skin of whom no one will miss
waltzing back out my shell back toward the grand ball
the masquerade proceeds on wards but i wish i'd just fall
fall into the deep hollows of wherever the after life leads
i have been doubting my faith lately so i'm not sure what i'll see
my mask is a strong one since no one has found out
the musical pain screams out loud
why is this world filled with so many who are hurting
I penetrate my skin with a blade when i see them burning
themselves in a deep pool filled to the rim in their own personal tears
i cover my eyes when their blood curdling cries reach my ears
i can't seem to take the jump like most of them do
i have tried drowning and holding my breath but they just don't get me through
why is it so hellish here
is this where the demon lives
is this what i should fear
i have been told i'm emotionless
so what is there to feel
noting but emptiness in this black empty void; my heart that still beats
i wish it would cease
i wish i could rest
i wish i could dream in a silence so serene..