Comments : From a moment with apples

  • 10 years ago

    by Odd David

    This was refreshingly earthy. It took me back to sunshine and meadows Really enjoyed it

  • 10 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    This poem has fantastic imagery and I just love how it's not shadowed by abstract thoughts yet everything is clearly expressed, it definitely made for a great poem. I never have quite thought of biting into an apple to be like biting into the sun, but it's a lovely thought. It is quite a lively feeling, and I love how you went describing within your poem, it was quite perfect. Well done :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Britt

    Congrats on your win (as usual its beautiful)

  • 10 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Congratulations on your win...Really beautiful imagery, the whole thing was totally captivating, I enjoyed reading...

  • 10 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Hmmm.. call me insane but I guess this doesn't only speak of nature. To me, it's deep, it kinda indicates the mystery and the infinity and the sweetness of our universe. Like, you're biting into this apple, you're relishing life, and every bite brings you closer to grasping what's intangible and sublime (the sun). You're eating it "with real greed, reaching for more" since there's absolutely nothing in this world that could satisfy our hunger for the ultimate knowlede, still we seek for it. I think I'm starting to make no sense, so I'll stop. And since you put it under the Nature section, which throws my silly interpretation out the window, I think maybe you were just enjoying your time out in a calm autumn day. In both cases, I'm entranced by this piece!

    • 10 years ago

      by abracadabra

      Sorry I haven't replied sooner, Noura. Thanks for your excellent comment. I don't think categorising a poem as a Nature Poem precludes it from having a deeper meaning. I hope, in general, all poems are written to convey some sort of truth in their core- whether it is direct or made for extraction is up to the reader and writer. I usually catergorise my poems according to their inspiration - if it was from a moment on a train, it goes in Life; if it was a feeling sourced mainly from nature, it goes in Nature and so on. Nature poems that only describe beautiful, 'natural' scenes are usually quite inadequate to me as poems because they make me feel I could have experienced it better through a photo or painting. Words should bring something new to the picture. Even imagist poets like William Carlos Williams who sometimes only described a very simple scene, still managed, in its very purity, to project a fuller, more poignant sense of the world.

      As for my poem, I appreciated your insight. I often have trouble 'explaining' my words but, yes, as you say, something about the mystery and infinity of (and affinity to) the universe seems to ring true in this context. I think, in general, that's how being around 'nature' makes me feel.

  • 10 years ago

    by Piogga

    Every time I read this poem I think it actually gets better and better.

    "I heard
    water bubbling again in its bed."
    Stomach grumbling? I'm not sure, but.. unique!

    I guess I agree mostly with what Noura said about the apple's symbolism. The sun comes across to me as a representation of power, and people, having tasted it, would most likely want for more. I love how you took such a small thing (an apple) and turned it into something that could depict something so magnificent. The atmosphere you've created was also dynamic and I want to talk about your form. The enjambment pulled me along the proceeding lines and it flowed beautifully. It's really inspired me and I might start using it too.

  • 10 years ago

    by Britt

    Judge comment:

    This poem just oozes images and is very sensory. What an interesting thought that apples would taste like the sun. We could take it literally and be it refreshing, or figuratively and spin into the sense of feeling like you have all the light of the world in your hands (or mouth, and knowing just the right things to say at the right time). I really like the structure, which is different from the norm we see from Abby. I also really like the way the sentences are articulated -- the sentences that seem like they could run on forever with the beauty she created. I can't help but crave fruit after reading this for all it's magic and interest. Beautiful as always.

  • 10 years ago

    by L

    Judging comment Weekly contest May 6, 2013

    "From a moment with apples," it's one of those poems that leaves the reader agreeing with the content of the poem yet wondering what exactly was that Abracadabra meant by "apples taste like the sun." I mean of course, it's a simile and it's not supposed to be taken literal, but I can't help but wonder how does the sun taste like? ( not that I want to try it, my existence would be eradicated if I tried to taste it and actually, I wouldn't even have the means to reach the sun) but I'm itching to know how would it taste.

    I have heard that comparison before but I didn't understand it nor felt it. However, after reading this poem I can sort of feel it. What I like the most about this piece is that it took me to that afternoon in the old apple tree. I also enjoyed the journey I was taken into and the simplicity of the poem.

    I also wonder where was this tree located, what made the narrator visit it? and how come the narrator picked the fallen fruits and not the ones from the tree? or did the tree even had any fruits?
    Also water was surrounding it, was it the only tree standing? It's not that my question matter, it only means that I was taken into that one scene and that I would like to know more.

    When I read the poem I see this person walking through the yellow grass, though the use of "waded" makes me think there could be water in the grass, as well as "I heard water bubbling again in its bed" makes me believe the whole scene is surrounded by water.

    I can't help but picture just one tree standing while being surrounded by yellow grass and water
    and the person approaching it. My thoughts are that perhaps this tree is far away in a different land that perhaps the persona found it a while back and now she/he has returned to visit it.

    And because of all of that, I arrived to the conclusion that the persona may have picked the fallen apples to see what they tasted like. It's hard to explain what's going on in my head, but if the old apple tree is able to stand the water and its surroundings and still give fruits, one can too. And those wrinkled apples despite looking old, they were sweet. So just as Abracadabra said: apples taste like the sun, they give one the taste that life will continue on and on for many years, if not forever.

  • 10 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    [Judging comment from week of 5/06/13]:

    This is a very surreal moment created by the author.
    I feel almost timeless as I am entering this scene, like this old apple tree is something reminiscent of my childhood and always bore fruit loved by all. I adore the true essence of this piece, how the author delves their whole being into this moment of eating apples and how she is not just fed, but indulged in that belief that life is possibly eternal and that hope can definitely remain for the future. I love the breaks in the lines, how there were three lines to each stanza except for the last line, and how perfectly each word flowed to the next. I definitely could relate to the "I ate with real greed, reaching for more.", because sometimes I think we all go through that want for more, whether it's a delectable taste or even knowledge and foresight.

    Wonderful last line! I have never made the connection or thought about the analogy between apples and the taste of the sun, but it is very refreshing to read and very spirited! Great write!

  • 10 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging comment:

    Now this is a nature poem at it's finest!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't give enough exclamation marks for this poem to express my adoration!

    For starters, the title takes me directly to the start, the moment or memory with apples.. standing next to a tree with dangling red, jusicy fruit, breathtaking from the start.

    Wisend is a delightful word to read for a description of a more mature or ripened apple and I love that!

    Eating a fresh apple from the tree truly does feel like biting into the sun so I really enjoy that line. This is such a refreshing nature poem. I feel like I'm rambling, but the visual display is so powerful!

    The format used by the author, truly was a delight and all I can say is.. this poem is BEAUTIFUL!