"these last two words of mine"

-are you meaning that the 'two words' you are going to be saying is goodbye? Technically, it is only one word...so maybe rephrase this unless you were meaning two different words.

I can't stress enough how much punctuation helps a poem! It helps the reader know when to pause (while using commas) and when to stop with one sentence and start another (using periods). Right now, it's one big run-on sentence and it makes the reader have to quickly read while it should be slowed in some spaces.

"To you i must say these
these last two words of mine"

- you don't need both of the "these"

Overall, a good short piece that describes how much you do care about this person even after you do say goodbye, maybe the death of a loved one?

Thanks... for the review... :)

I love it Sherwin:)!!! It's really good!! Nice job 5/5

I almost cried when I read this, wonderful poem though, had a lot of emotion and heart that's for sure, outstanding job, hugs!!!

This breaks my heart....

Saying goodbye to someone we love is hard, so true:)
I think some editting here and there will make it better. But good job, you conveyed your message to the reader well at least for me.

Beautifully written short but good