Comments : Take Me Back In Time

  • 5 years ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    A river ran along my cheek.
    Past lips that tremble but dare not speak.
    It's bed is dry and reeds they weep
    For the waters that left them behind.
    Holy guacamole! You have such amazing skills in capturing feelings in metaphors. This stanza is full of so many emotions and stories. The thoughts that provoke my mind make me wonder what is drowning you and keeping your mouth shut? The amazing sadness of vivid telling you capture is something out of a mystic time, ancient in the way you write, very unique.

    As lightning strikes a storm rolls in,
    But still no rain will touch this skin.
    My vision blurs and the air feels thin.
    How could I have been so blind?
    This can be lyrics to a song, I caught myself almost singing it to myself. Such depth and detail!

    Pictures play within my head,
    They speak of nights spent in this bed.
    Where dreams were real and words unsaid.
    Dreams, they're truly something of wonderment, aren't they? They spring up such memories and emotions. You've penned this stanza is a gripping way true and raw in emotion.

    Please take me back in time...
    Reminds me of Don't Wake Me by Skillet. This was powerful in more ways than one. It's hard to get the right words to a poem oozing with this much feeling and emotions. I relate in some ways and am surprised not many other people have commented on this poem or any of your work as you're a real talent and a gem to this website.

    Keep writing.

  • 5 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    IThis is the second poem of yours that I have read and very happy to find this hidden talent. Really enjoyed reading it and looking forward to reading more Milly x

  • 4 years ago

    by Lost One

    I love the rhyme scheme, Violette I believe? It really links the stanzas together. You have some undeniable skill here. Keep writing.

  • 4 years ago

    by Fredy RoMa0u Sanchez

    A river ran along my cheek
    ^ what a powerful line! And the rest of the poem does not disappoint! Great job

  • 4 years ago

    by Em

    This is extremely powerful but well rhymed