A Love Poem

by Boy   Jun 16, 2013


I want to write something new
that gives you great love attachment
for making you secure and safe here

i want to write all those words in your presence
that give you amazing and special feelings
about gorgeous and long lasting love

i want to write some kind and precious sentences
that make the melody on the waves of passion
making you feel My love is deep as any ocean

i want to write a poem of love today
and i know i can do it until and unless
someone stay with me and that is you.

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  • 6 years ago

    by Yakori bint Muhammed

    Its been a while I last read and gave an in-depth comment to a poem. I missed doing that and I'll want to get back to it slowly, starting from this piece of yours.

    As usual of your poetry, your style is simply appealing with your peculiarity that stands out. A quality I'd observed with you is that melody you incorporate and you try to keep it consistent.
    I see two characters here; a male and a female obviously but one professing his/her love to the other. Here's my perception of this emotionally driven love piece.

    1st Stanza:
    This to me is an assurance to instill new ways of making the love to have a strong bond that'll make you feel protected. A safe haven to dwell in love.

    2nd Stanza:
    And here you further want to make your lover to feel the existence of your inexplicable love which radiates viscerally the beauty of love and how deep-rooted it can be.

    3rd Stanza:
    I love how you chose to express your feelings here. The use of 'waves' and 'oceans' showed beautifully how you incorporated that as mataphors. *claps*..
    A partner displaying his/her rare and compassionate love hence making the other to feel the electric spark of affection that's emanating. Hence a pointer that shows the depth of your lover to your partner.

    4th Stanza:
    Lastly, this is somewhat very touching to me. He/she wants the partner to welcome his/her undying love, with that the union will flourish and go a long way in time. Till then, that partner is waiting for you to accept him/her in your life...

    I really enjoyed reading this poem. Welldone! I always say love is a beautiful experience, when one is with the right person. That's why its advisable to let go when ones' love is unrequited. It's better to move on than to stay in bondage wondering when it'll be in your favour. Its only when that person is destined to be yours then it'll surely be a reality.

    Nonetheless, there're other factors that can be considered in which one can ascertain a love relationship to work out, by been patient. Only at such that one can wait on and let it be worth it. However, when the signs are clear from the onset, its better to move on. Surely you'll find that person that'll complement you Gods willing.
    Keep writing, Kudos!

    • 6 years ago

      by Boy

      Thanks :P