Comments : Pravahlika Uddyota

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Its the title that got me into this piece. I must say it is so deep with meanings of life, like yang and yin.

    Sorrow must follow the greed of want.

    ^^A very true statement for greed whether it may be good or bad always does lead to sorrow, one that at times we can't bear!

    Lust forms the substratum for destruction.

    ^^Destruction blooms from lust and can be paired with greed. The two are a lethal combo for any destruction.

    Divinity flows undivided. And white is the color of renunciation.

    ^^This one got me! Divinity is undivided and does not pick on which direction to go and its purity is white. White alone brings out the stain and shows impurity.

    A very in depth and meaningful write that got my mind working..excellent!

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    [Judging comment for week of 7/01/13]:

    Such a complex, provoking write, there was a lot depth to acknowledge in this piece and I know just from reading it once or twice, I still can't understand every meaning. There was such a clever pull here for opposite forces in life and nature. I cannot pick out one line because each possesses knowledge and almost outer-reflection in a way, looking at how we react with the world and how it affects us. I love the last lines and how you almost write them in proverbs, like this is a truth we must just take, even if we don't comprehend a hundred percent as human beings: "life is death and death is life. The hand that feeds is the hand that kills." I thought of karma too, that everything can be found in the opposite, the parallax as you stated...one object of life with two different lines of sight can make the world what it is today. Unique poem, while this was very intellectual and philosophical in my mind, there were a few lines that for a poem, seemed too heavy with too much extended vocabulary. Very different though and you definitely made it your own

  • 9 years ago

    by L

    Judging Comment for Weekly contest : July 1, 2013

    This poem is an intriguing one to say the least. I don't know where to began or how exactly express what's going on in my mind. So I'll just start by saying that I learnt a lot of words and that despite the words being complex, the flow of the poem wasn't affected. It flowed smoothly. Now I didn't understand every single part of this piece but what I liked the most was - whether intended or not- that my brain could picked up a few of those sentence to showed me an image.

    This are the lines that stood out to me:

    "All desires are subject to parallax

    I am reflection in the water. Water is the reflection in me
    Sunrise and sunset must be Yellow Orange Red.
    Birds cannot fly in outer space. Wings suit their purpose.
    All is emerging all is submerging.
    Life is death and death is life. The hand that feeds is the hand that kills.

    Breath in Breathe out. Breathe in Breath out. Breathe in Breathe out."

    All of this lines, makes me believe that this poem came from a moment of meditation. Someone perhaps out in the woods reflecting in the water since sunrise to sunset. Some one observing, thinking, meditating about life and death, how everything in life has a purpose and it's just so interesting how this line keeps bugging me " The subject must be realized different from the object." What exactly does that mean?

    Also the title caught my eye.

    Overall, this poem seems like some type of riddle, it's so interesting how some lines stand up from the rest and how the starting to the end of the poem is thought provoking. I like it. I wish I could say more but I know I'll end up babbling and perhaps make this boring but very well done

  • 9 years ago

    by PorcelainMoon

    Great show of skills indeed.

  • 9 years ago

    by Sylvia

    I don't know how I missed this. It is different than your normal writes but presents the message well. Like the comparisons you used and hope that people reading will know that your words are true and stop to think about what you expressed with your elegant words. Good job and Congratulations on the win my friend.