You obviously have the strength to ignore that call. You've had times where you resisted it and I am sure you can do it all over again.
I know it is an addiction but it is one you can break. You shouldn't harm yourself for some things you can't handle or things that aren't your fault or anything else like that.
You're beautiful, scars and all and I know you can overcome the need to create more. Your strength is the most beautiful thing in all.

If you can, please don't do it. I've given in so many times it's horrible.

Great write.. many of us have experienced this feeling.