My Hearts Calendar

Turning pages on the calendar
seasons that used to please now
just fill me with dread hating
the onset of Autumn the 19th
October a day imprinted on
my mind forever as loss and pain.

Winter and 25th December alone
once more and my two little Angels
had just taught me love Santa
once more.

Valentines for me the 12th February
one of the happiest days which will make
me cry forever memories bleak as the
sandy shore where she said yes.

April double pains and apt time for rain
10th and 22nd will break my resolve
and my heart.

May through the Summer no joy or happy
memory to dwell on and love a time for more
thoughts of deep loss.

September once more the birth of a beautiful
child I felt was my daughter....Just painful pages
on the Calendar a history of my failure.