I Got Bad Again

I fake a smile everyday
telling everyone that I'm fine.
They all believe the smile
plastered on my face.

They don't notice that
I've stopped talking
and laughing the way I used to.
They don't notice the tears in my eyes.

I tell you I'm fine
and you stop asking.
I don't want to tell you
that I'm depressed.

Everyone's talking and laughing,
having a great time.
Nobody notices me
in the back just watching.

People think I'm getting better,
I've just gotten better at lying.
If anything,
I've gotten worse.

"I'm just tired.
Don't worry about me."
I've said that so many
time is this week alone.

I'm alone and sometimes lonely.
It's better that way, though,
nobody needs to know how messed up
I am. I don't want their pity.

I'm sorry I'm a mess up,
but I'm not going to change.
It's gotten bad again
so don't expect improvement.