Spine shivers

by PorcelainMoon   Oct 20, 2013


Asleep in the rain together, sucking moisture on the clouds like the dirt. Despondent in the presence of sharp eyes, only a mirror reflecting into mine.. Your beauty consuming me in anxiety, like the deep ocean, endless.

Deserted of people, running my hand through the folds of her hair, spine shivers, like someone walked over my grave. Behind all the locked doors shaded red. The wrinkles on your pale skin have felt pain before. Window gazing hoping her ghost will spot me among the trees...

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  • 10 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Shoot, is it what I am thinking about?
    In the graveyard? disturbing the ones who have an eternal slumber?

    I thought the way you approached the scene was pretty good. It's vague though. The use of pale and wrinkles can be used as a hint. Though what I really thought about was someone who is trying to keep in touch with their love one. Trying to have one last conversation.

    What confused me was how you used, "you" through out the poem, but eventually you used her ghost will spot me amongst the trees.....

    Either or, someone went and took a corpse. Or someone is with someone else in the trees, and this someone hopes the ghost of whoever can see him/her with the other someone.

    hehe, I have no clue. But it was interesting.