Comments : At The Mountain Top - A Drop of Hope

  • 7 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    First stanza- This is a very beautiful start. I like the details you used. I think maybe you are saying that you are the beauty this world holds? Even a "drop" of hope in the world is great. Every soul wants to feel hope I agree. I like the way you worded this as well because you bring light to the whole stanza. You want to wait for this person and be that hope of light in someones heart.

    Second- I like the perspective that you use. I love the double view point so to speak. You are at the mountain top (or at your happiest). This other person though they are struggling still has you that one person who helps them no matter what they go through. You never want them to give up at all. This stanza I love because of the message you send. That even tbough people aresstruggling never give up and hang onto that one person helping you.

    Ending- The ending has also a very awesome mrssage. My first thought again is sadness overwhelming someone. The use of winter is great because it's cold and a great metaphor for sadness or depression. I also like the bird line. Birds fly to warmer claimants and you just have to hold on to find that freedom. Anyway this again is a very strong message that holds a hint of real life and hope. Very well written!

  • 7 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    Reading a poem after a very long time & am glad to start with a romantic one...really nice & refreshing :)

    Always a comforting feeling when you know that someone is waiting...just for you.

    Loved it !!

    all the best & take care

  • 7 years ago

    by Sylvia

    I will comment in more depth shortly but wanted to say this is a good write from you. Doesn't seem to be as forced as a few I had read. If feels as if you have found the "groove" and passion for writing again. It is filled with hope and it seems as if you are trying to tell another that there is always hope, no matter what.

  • 7 years ago

    by ddavidd

    You are improving in a phenomenon rate
    but please do not search for acknowledgment it would dry up your intuitions before even you get a good hold on them.
    In other words do not let sweet to rut you up. it is a real danger specially for you because you are half and half.
    so tell me if you tried to flow any rhyme scheme here.
    you make me feel good about myself!!

  • 7 years ago

    by Saerelune

    That's a beautiful rondeau. Very natural and melodic. You're really getting the hang of rhythm and rhyme it seems, a joy to read.

  • 7 years ago

    by Jyoti Rawat

    At the mountain top, I'll wait for you,
    Like morning dews in Summer's hue

    your this is very nice.

  • 7 years ago

    by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko

    This is really beautiful, Ms. Lucero :))) I really love this piece :)) I love the rhymes and the hopeful texture of this poem :))

  • 7 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    This will make an inspiring card for those who need inspiration. It gives a boost to then mind and encouragement for the heart..well done & well penned!

  • 7 years ago

    by Hellon

    Judges comment 2/12/13'

    A The Mountain Top - A Drop of Hope by Everlasting (4)
    First of all, can I ask if the title should be At the Top of the Mountain?
    I've read this poem over and over and fall in love with it a little more each time. I just flows like liquid gold from start to finish and this made me wonder if it's a certain style of formed poetry? If so, I suggest adding a footnote at the bottom for the reader. I also found the layout to be very eye catching. I thought this verse to be very well presented both in structure and content. Nice job, Enjoyable read.

  • 6 months ago

    by Rab

    Whit braw wurds ye write here. A read it while a wiz eatin a packet o cheese and onion crisps.