Comments : Waiting

  • 10 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Heard your voice narrating this, you always have such a strong presence and this was no exception! Loved the opening image of rain and what that means to others. I admit, I've ran to work before, stepped in puddles, had my jeans drag. But on the other side, dreaming of kissing someone in the rain is something so mysterious and exhilarating.

    I usually don't have favorite lines or favorite stanzas but the most memorable one to be was the third stanza. Your wording is delicate, vulnerable, and I feel you fighting for control here.

    You are very personal in your poems, and I like the touch at the ending of the visible smirk, the candle you lit, and the bed made for one. Simply done at the end. I think with that one statement of you waiting for its owner, it conveys so much about that desire for it to be real and lasting. That desire for him to be your home.

    Beautiful write, keep it up!

  • 10 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    This is beautiful.... I love reference to the burning candle, and the ending is really powerful. Beautiful piece here Chels :-)

  • 10 years ago

    by Breely

    Love your use of language, your descriptive words, the way it flows. I agree with MAPLE TREE, very powerful ending, keep it up :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Sincuna

    Lovely write. I read this as if it were slam poetry. And it flowed well, no need for proper formatting, the feeling from the first line up until the last was consistent and everflowing. Loved the ride. Good work and congrats!

  • 10 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    A very descriptive write and your use of language paints a world for the reader to step into, feel and see what you feel.

    Your voice is heard within this poem making it personal and emotional..well done and Congrats on the win.

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    What I adore about Chelsey's work is how she manages to convey so much emotion from start to finish, the kind of emotion that makes the reader feel her desperate yearning and her longing via her written words; and how she subtly places imagery inside that longing, thus creating such moving visuals inside the readers mind.

    "dying to tell him I love him, but questioning if
    it's too soon"

    Love this. I think we all feel this at some point in our lives, wanting to share and state our emotions and feelings to the one we love the most yet holding back for fear of being rejected and/or scaring them away.

    I was quite surprised by the last verse, to be honest, as the prior verses were so full of hope, love and adoration that I was kind of expecting a happy ending. So to suddenly realize that the writer is still only dreaming of this but has yet to experience it is kind of sad and painful.

    It's been a long time since I saw Chels write a piece like this and I have to say I dearly missed her work.

  • 10 years ago

    by HeatherJo

    I love the story and visuals. My favorite part was the first stanza. Very beautifully written. I am somewhat jealous I cannot place words together as perfectly as you did here.