Hannah. Again and again you continue to blow me away. Okay even though your words say it all I will leave a few thoughts. Sometimes it's hard to overcome our emotions and we peel layers. I loved that imagery. I think what you meant was each emotion has it's own layer and the deeper it goes the "worse " it gets. And here you couldn't handle how this person was treating you. So you had to let all of your emotions out. The use of storm is perfect for this poem. That is what is pinpointed through out the whole thing. I feel like this person is very angry and that's where that comes in. Now to the ending. Omfg. That is one of your best endings I feel. Those words are powerful in themselves. It's hard to fully understand what an emotion is until you are pushed to that leave. You havestunning metaphors and eexcellent imagery. Speechless! Well done.
5 years ago
Nice write there . hannah lizette
5 years ago
I love the way you tie a clean/clear point into your poetry, like I feel like every poem that I've read from you feels summed up by the end and just complete. It's amazing.
I like how articulate this feels. At first I thought it felt choppy but after reading it out loud, I realized that I was just reading it funny.
"I shed the last
blanket of my skin
and produced a storm
that's been hibernating
four years too long. "
^This stanza is my favourite, I appreciate the word play at the end, it made me smile.
Also, the way you add visual in this poem is great, it feels very powerful as a whole. Your way with words is truly incredible.
Adore that opening verse, I think we can all relate here to when we find that one person who continues pushing through our outer defences until they get right down underneath our emotional walls and although we try to stop them or to take a step back; they're too close to us and eventually end up succeeding.
If I thought the opening was good, I love the second verse even better! This reinforces my initial thoughts and it brings me to think this person has finally succeeded in getting to meet you-the 'real' you, without any protective layers defending you, but because of the fact you've hidden yourself for so long, there was nothing you could do about the storm.
You're not used to being seen as so vulnerable by close ones and it's the only way you know how to react-by attempting to close yourself off again and reacting angrily to the fact this person has basically stripped you down defenceless.
I thought the next two lines were powerful on their own-words can be dangerous as we all know and even though we know we should think before we speak too many of us forget that and temporarily forget the harm that our words can cause. And of course by the time we realize it was a mistake, it's too late as the damage has already been done, which you sum up nicely with your next line of "I destroyed you (us)"
I like how you added the (us) in there also, it isn't often we see someone admit they haven't just destroyed another but destroyed themselves as well, even when they didn't mean to destroy either.
In the next verse, I think you summed everything up perfectly-when the anger cools down and we realize what a mistake has been made, we begin to feel empty and lonely. We realize we shouldn't have acted as we did and we realize we're alone because of our own action(s).
Love the metaphor of the tornado here, it adds powerful imagery and ties in nicely with the overall theme of the poem.
I actually smiled when I read this. Not because I was glad of the fact these hearts were hurting, but because it was so refreshing to see someone use something other than "broken hearts" I thought that was a unique twist to the old saying.
LOVE that closing! So powerful and hard hitting, and something anyone who has ever lost their temper can really understand and feel.
It's been a while since I have read a sad poem of yours, and this is definitely one of my more favoured ones, you always manage to bring your own creative flair and style to your writings even when the subject has been done countless times before.
This poem is so awesome!! Well written and your discriptive view of this broken heart situation is over the top!!! I could relate to this poem because I was in a situation and I was totally crushed and felt so much pain, confusion, hurt and even a little hate until I reached out to God to help me through it all!! I have written so many poems on this subject which helped me to escape the bad memories!!! This is the most awesome piece of written art!!! Congrats!!!!
Euterpe made such a true point with mentioning your way with words! It draws me in and you always have a deeper meaning. These words you write don't just settle, they affect people. Such an interesting ending and a point I never would have considered. I love the inner-struggle here... how you are possibly battling yourself for revealing a part of this relationship that was hidden for too long, or being provoked, at that end where you have to let words out.
What a journey you've taken me on. Congrats on the win, honored to share the page with you! Hope you have a great new year as well!
This poem gets me every time I read it. Yes, there are a few structural things that could be reworked but the imagery, the feeling, the overwhelming whirlwind of a delivery that the poet has created.... it's truly striking. I like how you've started the piece, dropping us straight into the action, right before the storm hits, so to speak. We enter into the poem just in time to witness the destruction, and we're given no time to dwell in what's about to happen, no time to try to stop it the damage, to try to warn, nothing. I love that feeling you've created. And the power of a storm is so similar to hidden anger. I especially love the calm you've mentioned, the dual existence of destroying something while witnessing the destruction, almost mesmerized by it. The last line is strong, too. You've done an excellent job marrying your thoughts to your imagery and layout in this piece. Well thought out and clever. I'm very very into it.
5 years ago
Wow. This piece is completely phenomenal. I wasn't sure what to expect from the title at all but i am so glad I read this. I love how you stated the way you felt so eloquently even with the destruction and pain mixed together in a slue of countless emotions. I also love the creativity.
my first favorite lines:
"last kiss before being
my second favorite lines:
"I finally understand why
storms are named
after people. "
both of these sections stand out to me on the creativity scale and blew me away entirely/