Comments : The Overthinker

  • 6 years ago

    by Theresa Ford

    First of all for anyone who has battled depression your choice of words have nailed it, and they will get it. The fact that it does not seem labored or forced speaks well to your skill also. If I might just make a suggestion or two 1. since you are rhyming your away/stays is a little off for the flow. 2. Unless you are on purpose attempting to make a connection to the Great Depression I would drop the capitals, I think it draws away from your message other than than Good Job I really enjoyed.

    • 6 years ago

      by LoneWolf

      Ok I fixed the capitalization problem but I think I'll leave the rest

  • 6 years ago

    by Trinity Heart

    This is a couplet my dear and a very nice one too the tone is beautiful and filled with a fighting voice also love the way it flows good job

    Trinity

  • 6 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This is very well written and I can really feel where you are coming from

  • 6 years ago

    by Dragon Boy

    Nicely Written!
    You had good punch lines

  • 6 years ago

    by Everlasting

    I see, you are great rhymer. That was well done. As far as the content. I think and I think and I think that I think, but I think that I'm not thinking when I'm actually thinking that I think. How else could I think when I think not that I think? would I then be thinking? Or would I not be thinking that I think? That's the problem with my thinking, I think that I don't think when I think, but in reality I think and I think and I think about what I think until I start feeling that I do not think. It's pretty sad. As I think, I do not think, I think.

    Anyhow, reality is starting to feel better day by day. I'm thinking a lot less. It's less exhausting. I can relate to your poem in the thinking. It was well written. But as any other poems, I think there's always room for improvement.

    • 6 years ago

      by LoneWolf

      Have you any word of anything I might be able to improve on?