Sunlight Serene

You sink your face
in the seas of death
and hope you still have length
you play with knifes
to rusty to dull
and ponder the sight
the gush of blood
but it is not
the clouds you swallow
or the earth you eat
that rains and grows
those greening forests
in the belly of your heart
and it is not
all the bed sheets you mess
or all the mouths you taste
that court the nights you loathe
you have travelled
a thousand paths
backtracked
a thousand thousand more
you have read
every love story
in every library
you have watched
countless movies
countless happy endings
you have searched
behind every doorknob
under every bit of rock
for all that is
raw succulent playful
when all you ever stormed for
was sunlight serene
all along within your heart