Controlled By My Mind

My mind keeps my heart beating
and yet it tells my hands
to bring the pills to my mouth
to put the noose around my neck
and to tell my legs
to jump off the ledge

my mind struggles so hard
to keep my heart beating
yet it also tries
to kill me

if forms pictures in the dark
and lets that darkness in
it tells me i'm worthless
like the people do outside my head

so why should I be happy
that my heart is working
when my own self
is trying so hard to die
and yet it stays alive