Comments : That Anxious Day

  • 8 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Wow dashiel this poem is well written. I am going to point out a couple of errors that threw me off of the poem a bit.

    to a one heartbreaking night
    he was once fond of,

    ^ in this couplet in the first line, I think it would be better either: without the "one". It would make the poem flow better to me.

    Anyways this poem seems to a very personal one. I do love the comparisons you make here to Keats, he had one bad night and so did you it seems so I love how you brought that to life. Something tragic happened on February 17th and it still remains a mystery. I love how you give the reader a lot of power here, you are letting them think about what happened on that day. That's what makes a great poem. 5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by Everlasting

    So you being buying those cliches, each one for a peso? so you are 21 pesos off... I wonder what it's the name of that song?

    I like how you described the footsteps though. It isn't a bad thing to buy the cliches, we can use them whenever, they always have a used. Too bad many poems have left them weeping on the sidewalks... forgotten. T_T
    They most feel lonely.

    • 8 years ago

      by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko

      The song is I'm Still Here by Vertical Horizon (: Haha ..