The Lost Solace (Doditsu)

by GB   Aug 11, 2015


The Lost Solace

Oh, my all, my very self,
breathless words seeking your eyes,
like a lost ship demanding
final destiny.

All rights reserved (C) GB

** The Doditsu is a fixed folk song form of Japanese origin and often portrays love or humor as subject matter.

It comprises 26 syllables made up of four lines of 7-7-7-5 syllables respectively. It usually does not rhyme.

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  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    What a beautifully elegant little poem, Samia, written in a form I admit to never having heard of.
    Well done - this is excellent.
    All the best, Ben

  • 8 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I always enjoy reading poetry that is very different to my own. This was soft, romantic and very beautiful. I feel like I've taken a trip back in time or have picked up a poetry book by one of the greats. It's very rare I enjoy poetry on this site that is written in a more "traditional way", but this piece was elegant and made me smile.

    This poetry form is a nice once to be able to create short pieces, and I think you did it justice. This poem is a depiction of pure love and dedication and I couldn't have depicted it better myself.

  • 8 years ago

    by Britt

    The first word that came to mind as I read this was elegant. This is so beautiful and soft, full of longing and love.

    I agree with Ingrid, reading a total submission to the other person. That makes this poem that much more loving and gracious. Beautiful, beautiful poem. Love that you chose this form, too!

  • 8 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Very romantic and nostalgic wording here, Samia. The right format for this message.

    In your words I read total submission to the other person, a love so deep, there is no way back. I love the dramatic tone!

    Well done,

    Ingrid xx

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