If only

If only she saw my tears
if only she saw my scars
my thoughts from now to death with be silenced

a child in the middle
stretch east and west between two beating souls
my heart picks one
but DNA strikes back

if only my blood was mine
id choose to be a mother of my own self
love
listen
support
my self

but what child
deserves this

my heart was thrown out
on a tight rope
trying to balance both sides of my life
but gravity pulls me down

if only i could float
drowning in my own confusion
my love is questioned of desire

if only i knew every answer to life's forbidden knowledge
if only i could run
far within the bindings of every answer

do i
don't i
no one knows

if only the harsh was changed from that ugly ca-coon
into a colorful creature with wings spread so wide

if only life was made of blossoms of smiles
but its not

its dark
wronged for so many
life is full of disappointed flesh

nothing is perfect

if only...