Comments : Night Shift

  • 3 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This is a really interesting take on how such tragedies affect the doctors/nurses who have to deal with them day in and day out and have to live with these memories too.
    I guess the sentiment could be applied to any passer by or witness to an accident or any kind of tragedy: they get caught up, often try to help, and then walk away, forgotten but forever affected.
    We could all appreciate these gallant efforts (from whoever they come from) more.

    A great write - all the best,
    Ben

    • 3 years ago

      by Ren

      Ben,
      Thank you very much for reading my poem and for your insightful comment :) I appreciate your feedback and kind words!
      Forgotten but forever affected is absolutely right. Days full of bitter-sweet moments as we welcome lives and watch them leave...but a privilege none the less to be there for the ones going through it all.
      Thanks again and have a lovely day :)

  • 3 years ago

    by J Nair

    A perspective we often tend to oversee when we are ourselves caught up in grief and pain especially in a place like the hospital.
    We never remember the faces of those strangers who round the clock is doing their best to help and relieve pain.
    A very real scenario unfolds with your words
    Beautiful poem Ren.
    Great write.

    Jay

    • 3 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you very much Jay for your comment! I always appreciate feedback and hearing what others think after reading some of my work.
      Your words ring true when it comes to getting caught up in the grief and pain that occur so commonly in hospitals.
      It's amazing how strangers can have such significant, life changing impacts on others...whether they are the one's being taken care of, or the caregivers themselves.
      Thank you once again!
      Have a great day :)

  • 3 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Ren,

    Your poem deserved to win, just beautiful!! Congratulations!!

    • 3 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you very much!
      I appreciate your comment and kind words! :)

  • 3 years ago

    by Cindy

    Congratulations on your win!
    Take care
    Cindy

    • 3 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much, Cindy! :)

  • 3 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Ren,

    firstly congratulations.

    At first when I saw the screen of one long verse I was put off. But, like persevering to save a life, I continued to read and am glad I did...

    As I read I felt I was behind you willing your effort, willing life, any signs of life; a flutter of the eyes, a twitch of the mouth. The face so vivid, an image so powerful; no wonder it became unforgettable, even haunting.

    I wanted a happy ending. It did not happen.

    Then, the funeral... A stranger amongst the family and friends of the deceased. I imagine the feeling of being responsible, though knowing deep down that just is not the case.

    ...Anyway, the shame remains and guilt walks away alone.

    Ren, this is very good and though I do not know if it is fiction or not it reads as the truth. I guess all in a days work, or in this case a nights work. A convincing write and worthy of a win!

    Take care,

    Michael

    • 3 years ago

      by Ren

      Hi Michael,
      Thank you very much for your comment and kind words! I am glad you read my poem even after being put off from the long verse. I have a habit of doing that.
      Your words describe how I felt that night almost perfectly.
      Working in the medical field can be rewarding...but awfully terrifying as well.
      I do find it a privilege to be with people in their weakest moments...whether I am welcoming life or watching it go.
      Thank you so much again for taking the time to read and comment :) I appreciate it so much!

      Take care,
      Ren

  • 3 years ago

    by Dixiedaisy

    This poem packs a powerful punch right into the gut. I suppose it would do those of us on the other side of public service good to read this and know what efforts and care are put into saving our loved ones lives, even if they don't make it.

    • 3 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much for reading and for your comment!
      I appreciate this so much!
      Having been on both sides, I have found that I do have a much more profound appreciation for all services that sacrifice their time and lives to help serve others.
      It is a bitter sweet profession, and I find myself more and more compassionate every day because of it.
      Thank you again for your comment!
      Take care!

  • 3 years ago

    by hiraeth

    Congrats on the win

    • 3 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you very much!

  • 3 years ago

    by =The-Fairy-Mary-Poppins=

    Omg this poem did deserve to win, God I wanted to cry because I'm guessing you're working in a hospital and it's all filled with sadness and despair likewise there is happiness and joy that they will make it.

    This poem make me sad because I want to be a CNA and it will break my heart because I will likely see someone die and all I can do is alert the nurse. This poem probably made me cry because I know someone has lost someone that they loved very much and nothing would've made them come back

    Overall very emotional and well made, there was nothing wrong with anything in this poem so it's very beautiful and inspiring and insightful to what the nurses, doctors, CNAs see every day.

    • 3 years ago

      by Ren

      Hi there!
      Thank you so much for your comment!
      You are absolutely right about it being filled with sadness and despair and happiness and joy. It's an amazing, heart warming feeling to watch a first time mommy hold her newborn baby for the first time...and it's absolutely heart wrenching to watch someone pass on from this life...especially when their loved ones are there watching them go. I always say it is a bitter sweet experience and a privilege to be with others during their weakest moments. That is why I pursued this profession in the first place.
      I think becoming a CNA is a wonderful idea :) because even though it can be very scary and emotional at times, it is also a very rewarding profession. Taking care of someone and watching them get well and thank you for taking care of them is one of the best feelings in the world. If you pursue that path I am sure you would be great :)
      Thank you so much once again for your kind words and for reading my poem! I appreciate it so much! :)
      You're so sweet!

      Take care and I wish you all the best,
      Ren

  • 3 years ago

    by hiraeth

    Judging comment:

    It almost reads as a spoken word piece; each verse is concise and powerful. The short narrative style of this piece really works wonder as it paints the other side of how death affects the doctors and nurses just as much as it affects the deceased's loved ones and family, it brings a light to something often overlooked. The movies and TV shows tend to depict the ER workers as 'desensitized' to deaths, even though they might be desensitized to some point, it still affects them a great deal, and I imagine it's not easy for the doctors and nurses to cope with it as well. A powerful write.

  • 3 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment

    I feel that everyone who works in the medical field, weather its hospital, Law enforcement or what have you, needs to read this poem.

    It shows the true feelings and passion of the caretaker of human beings who are dealing with the dying.

    This poem flowed and brought the reader into every single line. My mouth dropped and the tears flowed. Excellent write by Ren this week!!!!!!!

  • 3 years ago

    by Em

    Ren, what a beautiful, heartfelt story. This is so personal and it gave me goose bumps.

    It reminded me of when I was really ill in hospital because of my condition and the elderly lady died next to me with her family around. It was such a sad affair.

    All the best, Em

    • 3 years ago

      by Ren

      Em,
      Watching a person take their last breaths can be absolutely heart breaking...whether they are loved ones or total strangers.
      Thank you so much for your comment!
      Take care!

  • 3 years ago

    by hiraeth

    Just coming back to read this again. :)

    • 3 years ago

      by Ren

      Aw woww haha thank you! :) I hope you still enjoyed it!

  • 3 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Splendid poem, Ren, well done!

    5/5
    IdTakeABulletForYou

    • 3 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you very much!

  • 3 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Just saw this in your poems. Beautiful. I imagine this is how a hospital worker or ambulance driver or detective would feel... so sad :(

    • 3 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much for reading and for your comment!
      It can be a very emotionally challenging job to work.

  • 2 years ago

    by pmmurphy

    At first, i wasn't a fan of the end punctuation after every line, and how the poem was one giant long stanza. Then i read some comments, and it hit me. This is powerful. I like how the end punctuation works well, it speaks and slows down nicely to emphasize the drama. Truly saddening, and the ending... Touching.

    • 2 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment :)

  • 2 years ago

    by Lyical Madness

    This captures how I feel when in this situation- as a fellow healthcare professional death is a daily part of our lives. Wonderfully captured xx

    • 2 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much! Your words are truly appreciated :)

  • 2 years ago

    by Lost One

    How did I not realize you're a nurse lol?

    • 2 years ago

      by Ren

      Well to be fair I was actually still a student when I wrote this ;)

  • 2 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    This speaks so much about the kind of person that you are Dear Cowgirl! They do not know you, and you do not know them...someone dies and your heart breaks, you feel their loss...and you are sorry even if you might have done your best! You have a golden heart! A heart-touching story that is so beautifully penned. Really great piece!

    • 2 years ago

      by Ren

      Aww thank you so so much!!! What a lovely comment dear Lady!! You are too kind!! :)

  • 2 years ago

    by [M(/)U]

    Wow. This is so heartbreaking, powerful and haunting. It's so beautifully written and I love your use of repetition. This is such an amazing poem!

    • 2 years ago

      by Ren

      Wow thank you very much!! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment! Take care :)