If only you knew

by AlysonSlayton   Apr 2, 2016


Not really a poem just needing to express some feelings.

I wish I could have a child. You have 3 beautiful children that I've raised for 2 years now because you decided that drugs and running were more important.
Now your back in their life to be their mommy and I'm pushed on the back burner.
You rub it in my face about your pregnancies with these beautiful angels and if you could only know how sad it makes me that I was dealt the cards of childlessness, while you are the mommy that chose sometime over her children.
If I could have a child, they would be the most precious person in my life.
I wish I could express this to you because I'm disappointed in you.
But yet at the same time I'm proud of you.
You finally decided to be the mother you should have been since day one.
If only I could have a day one.
I have a loving husband that loves me even though we may never bear a child together.
You don't know who your children's father's are..

I envy you. I despise you.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    @ double post

  • 9 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello Alyson and welcome to the site.

    "Not really a poem" - well, sometimes, these are the best poems. Unpolished 'rants' that come from the heart and move people immensely; after all, what is poetry if not that?
    I don't know who this person is (it could be a sister or a friend) but they mean enough to you to rouse such strong emotions.
    You are absolutely right when you say children should mean everything to you. When you have them, there is no 'time out' (for any length anyway) and no coming and going as you please.
    I am very sorry to read that you can't bear children - but it sounds like you have had an important influence on these three little lives when you didn't strictly have to. If only all parents treated their children with that kind of love. Being a parent doesn't necessarily make you a real parent....there's a good deal more to it than that.

    All the very best and stay well,
    Ben