The Boy Who Left

Do you ever lay awake with me on your mind?
do you ever think of what we would've been?
i miss the feeling of your fingers and your touch
that always lingered on my skin
but there's no trust anymore and no "us" anymore
and I hate that I still care
for a love that disappeared
and a boy who hurt me so bad that I lost my self while I spiralled out of control
I feel used by your kiss
and pain by the fact I miss
you when I wake up
and you when I go to sleep
you said you would never lie to me
but there you go again
you said you'd never leave but
there you go
out that door
and it's all gone
every night I wait up for you
to call
I hate you
but I want you back
and I can't explain it
I can't handle it
but you love her
and I'm not her
I'm not good enough for you
and I knew that
from the start
but somehow I thought everything I heard was wrong
I thought you cared
I thought you were different
but you were just like the boys my momma used to warn me about
you were just like the boys my daddy used to hang around
you were exactly who I was worried you'd be
you were the knife through my heart
the heart that belonged to you
I mended it
I bound it
for it to just fall apart
again, and again
every time you're with her
how do you not realize
that you are tearing me to pieces
when you promised.
you promised you wouldn't leave
but I guess that's why daddy always said to not believe everything I'm told
and momma always told me to be strong
because they knew you were out there
and they knew I would fall
into the stupid trap called "love"