Divorced loneliness... married to bliss

Moa,

I have tried to nominate this piece, but I cannot. I believe it is a fault in the sites programming. Posting poems in the 'Love poem' section makes them ineligible for the weekly contest. If you change it (for now) then people can nominate. I would like to see this on the front page.

All the best.

Michael

This is so sweet! Wonderfully written about divorcing loneliness and marrying bliss! If anyone thinks they will.always be alone need to read this, there's hope and it's beautiful-

Hello Moa,

I like the calm tone to this piece; much like the sea after a storm.

I have a couple of suggestions:

1. the punctuation marks have are entered one space away from the end of the word. This is distracting, but of course if this is to somehow highlight 'moving away to a happier life' then it is a clever touch, albeit ambiguous.

2. in the 3rd line, I feel if you were to alter is slightly to this:
in the gaze of your beautiful eyes.
^ the subtle change of word allows for a more loving look, rather than a judgmental one. Of course if this was your intention, I apologise.

3. On the 9th line, I feel the trailing '...' would be better used at the end. This could suggest the 'utter' being a name that continues, much like this love...

As SL mentioned, the happily never after is a clever play on words and creates imagery of an unhappy relationship so well.

Moa, well done on this piece - my suggestions are merely that just my thoughts. I hope you don't mind. If you do let me know and I will know better next time.

All the best.

Michael

Before you I was married to loneliness,
together we lived happily never after

^^

Great line and an altogether wonderful love poem.

SL

Moa, this is truly beautiful (as always) and your words are really sophisticated lol. I do love how your pieces come together so well.

Oblivion must be a place of awe ;
that's how I always feel when lost
in stares of your beautiful eyes.
^^
A very powerful opening. Oblivion is wonderful especially when in the eyes of someone who is beautiful on the inside and who you truly love that lives you back, or so I think.

If love was to be baptized
behold I'd name her with thine
name.
For in uttering it with mine lips ,
I swear I'm born again in love ;
...with each utter.
^^
Aww, I love this stanza it's beautiful in every way and shows that this person truly means a lot to you to because even saying their name makes you feel in love again and again. Amazing.

Before you I was married to loneliness,
together we lived happily never after.
Then you came;
hence I divorced my solitude
and married your bliss.
^^
A very powerful ending being 'married to loneliness' until this person came along and you divorced your loneliness and married what they had, hence making you feel happy. I love the use of marriage and divorce here as it goes to show how much this person means to you. I do feel the 'never' should be 'ever' though.

All the best and hope you're well.
Em