Michael, this is very powerful and emotional. The imagery is really vivid.

Blood on the dancefloor
^^
This title stood out and can be interpreted in different ways so it will be intriguing to see what others views are but I thought that possibly there was a murder on the dancefloor a bit like Sophie Ellis bexters song lol...

A sad story of a beautiful ballerina who dances in more ways than once. She is a show girl by day and a lonely girl by night (so to speak) dancing with her knife across her skin.
When the only way to dance is with a blade,
It's time to dance in quite a diff'rent way.
^^
This final couplet is like a slap in the dace, it hits you hard because it's so true.

Em

Michael,

This is a sad and powerful sonnet, indeed.

I have a couple of suggestions which may or may not be correct, but are how I hear them.

The line beginning 'etching' stumbles a bit. 'etch' (stressed) 'ing' (unstressed)

Also, the first line of the volta: "when the" - 'when' I hear as stressed and 'the' as unstressed.

All of the above are only as I read them, so it's entirely up to you.

Another original sonnet from you, Michael.

SL

Your words captured me. I was the spectator watching this lady dance. I was feeling frustrated for not being able to stop her from dancing also for not being able to play a new song for her to dance. The sonnet is well done. The iambic is good. I only have a small critique:

If the only way to dance is with a blade,

^ This line sounds like trochee instead of iambic. If I force it sometimes it comes as iambic lol.

IF the ONly WAY to DANCE is WITH a BLADE

The same here. I think that's as closes as one can get to experience true freedom. Being able to write sonnets or form poetry without feeling restrains despite having restrains. don't know if that makes sense.

Beautiful as alwaýs. Sad beautiful touching. This sonnet is well done. It flows so well - something I am working on.

Well Done

Hello Sir,

The quality and the makeover of this write is fabulous. Writing a big poem whilst setting up good rhyming with rhythm could be very difficult for many writers, but in your case you have done it quite comfortably. You have talked about dream, well I believe that dream is very vital in anyone's life. Life is colorless sans dream.

But here, the dream of a girl just vanished because of the evilness of someone. Nice sad poem.