Comments : Fly with me (Concrete Form)

  • 9 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Gel,

    This is an excellent concrete or shape poem. They are always harder than they seem anyway, but they are especially challenging on this site because of its restrictions with formatting.

    Well done,

    SL

    • 9 years ago

      by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

      Hi Sir,

      Actually, I'm still editing this as of this moment . and till now I can't figure out what's wrong.
      But still ,thank you for the compliment.

      Gel

  • 9 years ago

    by Everlasting

    ------------It's------------------
    -----------hard ------------------
    ----------to read. --------------
    -------Ah! My heart! ------------
    -----Is it broken in half?--------
    ---Or wait, can it just be---------
    ----upside ....... down?----------
    ........Yes............no-------------

    Nice read. At first I had a hard time reading the poem. I wonder if it's because I'm reading via phone rather than laptop? In the bottom portion of the poem, letters are all too closed. And my brain didn't know how to read them XD then it did, somehow.

    I like the poem.

    • 9 years ago

      by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

      Hi,

      thanks even this writing gave you a headache. ... actually in my laptop it looks different. I dunno why ....Been editing this in notepad and Ms word. .. The problem is, when I transferred it here....anyway thanks you made it ...hahahhahahah. .

      Gel

  • 9 years ago

    by Brenda

    Very cool! I liked this a lot- these concrete poems are difficult, well done-

    • 9 years ago

      by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

      Hi Brenda,

      thanks for having time reading my poem. ...

      have a blessed day. .

      Gel

  • 9 years ago

    by Augustus Black

    Ate Gel. Kmasta ka

    This is very nice poem, I really liked the first segment. I will give you some suggestions related to your poems later. But you are doing very nice. Gel

    Loved the flow and rhythm of this lovely write.

    • 9 years ago

      by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

      Hi Lil Bro,

      I'm fine (ikaw kumusta)? hope you're doing great. .. yes dear you give your comments, suggestions, observations and violent reaction. ...hahaha feel free

      Ate Gel.