Your sister did a good job here. I see you have delivered a very sensual scene of fear, either you take the scene of viewing down from the tall building or you take the cruel act of the chap, both looked like a bone-chilling to me.

Oh, why the heck those stupid boys do this with beautiful girls. Nice sad plus dark poem.

Well done.

Hello Gel,

This poem really has something special. I do feel though it is in a raw state and could be developed. If you want my help let me know.

Take care,

Michael x

Hello Gel,

I have quickly reviewed this. I have tried to keep it as original to your own work, just minor suggestions throughout.

I hope you like some of them. :)

On the top of the highest glass skyscraper
He let me saw the world, its beauty and its wonder
^
'saw' should be see

He led me to the tip and let me catch sight of what's under my feet
^
If you changed 'under my feet' to beneath - this would show not tell the reader and emphasise the image.

I saw the different vehicles congesting the street.

I'm afraid of heights, but he said," just open your eyes",
^
Nice use of dialogue. :P

I just opened it, even though I'm scared and terrified
Then the wind blew on me, it was chilling and strong
^^
Here you could say, 'I felt the air on my skin'

My hair and dress were swayed in a different direction.
^
Omitting the word, 'were' and 'a' and make 'direction' a plural. (add the letter 's')

I prepared not to stay too long at the tip
^
Maybe like this: 'I did not want to stay to long at the tip'

Coz nausea on my stomach, it kicked

^
The abbreviation of 'because' interrupts to voice of the poem. Perhaps, sticking to 'because' would help?

So I scampered where he stood
But I guess, it changed his mood.
^
Here the words, 'stood' and 'mood' are pronounced differently, despite looking similar. You could change the 2nd line here to this: But, I guess, it changed his look. This suggest his mood changed by his changed expression.

He let me face a big mirror
It definitely reflects me whole
He whispered me these words,
"Look, you are beautiful and sweet"
While he brushed my hair with his fingertips
^
A nice unrhymed stanza - setting the unsuspecting reader for a shock! ;P

Then suddenly, He knocked my face on the mirror
^
I would use 'into the mirror' - it suggests that more force is used.

I heard a loud cracking sound, Is it my skull?
I noticed the shattered glass on the floor
Glittering by the ray of the suns reflection.
^^
All good.

Everything became blurred, all I can see was his shadow
I felt the warm liquid dripping from my head
Down to my cheek, into my chin and into my neck
^ very nice, gory descriptions.

Then he grabbed my arms and dragged me into the edge
Oh no, I have no strength to fight back, I'm weak.

I just heard he whispered near my ear,
^
Substitute 'he' for him'

"This is the end, let go dear!"
I cried a lot coz I'm really scared,
^
This line is not powerful enough to my mind. How about 'my cries were squashed beneath lead' - this would then rhyme with 'dead'

This is the end? I'll be left for dead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He pushed me down and there's nothing I can do
Oh no! This is not true, how did I flew ?
^
How about: ' Oh no, this is not true, my reality flew.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then I opened my eyes and ascended a loud scream
(woaaahh!)
My sister Gem hit me and said," Sis, It's just a dream".
^
A nice moment of relief here. You could have gone two ways, yours, using an awful nightmare scenario, then saving the ultimate terror with letting the reader realise it was a dream-scene, or (my favourite) continue with the horror, describing the attack and leave the reader panting for breath, shocked and appalled.

Your version is just fine. It is not everyone who has my mind, and just as well I say! :P

Take care, Gel.

Michael x

Excellent work :)

Thanks naomi

Wow Gel, this is not a dream I would like to have! Scary, but wonderfully written-hugs-

Gel,

As I read this, I was - of course - worried that this was literal and that you'd been subjected to some genuinely terrible and terrifying abuse BUT, then I read the last couple of lines and was pleasantly surprised to see you hadn't been forced to grow wings and this was, in fact, a dream (nightmare?) !

All the best, Gel

"I did not want to stay to long at the tip
Because nausea on my stomach, it kicked"

"to" should be "too"

& the second line reads a bit weird, maybe try "because of the kicking nausea in my stomach" ?

just a suggestion.

glad you survived :p

Some dreams can be really threatening. Glad you scaled through the nightmare scene. And really, ironies abound.