Fake

Fake
That’s what I am
Nothing more than a mask
Nothing more than the skeleton of a girl who used to be alive
Who used to believe
Who used to dream
A girl who would run into the field of flowers and laugh and sing
Now I just point to the dead flowers on the edge of the field
It’s not as perfect as it seems
I fake a smile
And soon I think it’s real
But as soon as you turn around it slips off
I can’t pretend anymore
I can’t focus
On anyone
Or anything
What’s the point?
I’ll always do something wrong
I’m losing my grip
Slipping off the edge
And the friends I thought I had aren’t helping anymore
Because I’m not worth it
They won’t hold on
I didn’t try hard enough to keep it together
So why should they?
See I couldn’t even be fake right
So many people see through it
But they pretend they don’t
Yet they expect me to continue caring about them
They expect me to try hard for them
When they refuse to try for me
But I’m trying so hard
To become what they see
To be the person they want me to be
I’d only be lying to myself if I said I could be who I wanted to be
Cause there’s no possibility
I’ll mould myself to fit their needs
And hate myself every day for it
Hell I don’t even know who I want to be
Not this though
God nothing like this
But I’ll always be fake
I’ll always pretend I’m something I’m not
And I’ll continue to smile like there’s nothing wrong
I’m nothing more than a mask
Nothing more than the dead girl you all forgot