Comments : While You Sleep (Senryu)

  • 8 years ago

    by SAKHILE INNOCENT MHLANGA

    Nor every thing is based from our sights, because beyond there; is more than just the innocent looks

    • 8 years ago

      by mossgirl19

      Yes, I agree with you on that. When the eyes open in the morning, all the innocence is lost. But I wrote this one looking at my daughter, great to know she is still an innocent little three year old.

  • 8 years ago

    by Michael

    Very good mossgirl :)

    Michael

  • 8 years ago

    by Lvi

    Watching someone sleep is really wonderful and calming-
    The way they breathe and all the minute details about them and of course the eyes.
    And the ending... 'I am here', that's the only thing we need to hear sometimes.

    Amazing and well written.
    I really liked the piece. :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Love the sentiment in this

  • 8 years ago

    by Fredy RoMa0u Sanchez

    Im amazed at your ability to convey such beautiful and deep emotions within 3 lines... and that you're able to do it multiple times... I've been reading your senryu(s?) And they're top-notch! Great job

  • 8 years ago

    by Oluwaseye Olayode Taiwo


    Well written and insightful