Mama

I understand why you did it
I understand the struggle you went through
But it doesn't make it hurt any less.

I was only little
A little girl
crying out for her Mommy.

But she was never there.

Yes I had daddy
and I had my step mom.
But they weren't you!

Daddy Always telling me
To grow up
Even when I was only 7!

Step mom always doting
On my brother, her son.
Always telling me
How I was nothing but A stress in her life.

I understand now
Why you weren't there.
I wont go into it.

But tell that to 5 year old Nikkie,
10 year old me!
The little girl who missed her mama
Screaming out for her attention.

I know why you weren't there

But it doesn't make the Pain
from all those years without you
Just go away.

And whats worse...
You don't even feel bad.