I love you but I hate you

Sometimes when its quiet and I look over at you,
My world is suddenly perfect and my skies are blue,

But at the same time thoughts stir in my head,
As I start questioning everything you've ever said,

I'm fighting a losing battle that I'll always lose,
Cause I always feel like the last person you choose,

You make me happy but miserable at the same time,
I'm both proud and disappointed to call you mine,

There are days I feel like I can trust you, And some I think everything is sneaky you do,

I love you more than life but I also hate you too,
Bad things you've done to me I wanna do to you,

I guess I don't know how to let things go,
Maybe I'm meant to be miserable I'll never know,

When everything is going good I'm still not content,
Happy has already came and then went,

But I can never bring myself to pay you back for what you do,
I guess you could say I'm a good one and my love is true,

I just wish it could've turned out better than this,
Like when we met, those are the times I miss.